World’s Worst Hide & Seeker

Actually, his seeking isn’t too bad, but we obviously do need to work on the hidage aspect of his game.

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I iz invizibul. U cannot see me behind my stick.

This was taken in February 2008 at Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens and is a great example of what a quota photo looks like when one is trawling through one’s wife’s hard drive looking for quota photos because one’s hard drive is broken. Yes, despite several kicks to the side of the big boxy bit, I still have not had any joy in reinstating power to my machine. I’m not an expert, but even if I was, I really haven’t had time to sort anything out, as I have been rushing around today preparing for the imminent arrival of the 2009 Kids in Tow Tour and watching a brave and spirited Bafana Bafana performance during which not a single one of their players tried to gouge out the eyes of an opponent.
Although, with hindsight, it may have helped, because they lost.

This evening will be spent watching the Confederations Cup Final between Brazil and USA and singing a sickeningly annoying song from Balamory, which I heard several days ago and which refuses to leave the busy space between my ears. Still – I could be singing the theme from The Littlest Hobo, like you are now.

Bafana v Brazil

The Local Boys take on the Samba Boys in the second Confederations Cup semi-final this evening, buoyed by growing local support and the somewhat surprising result from the first semi last night when the USA beat Spain 2-0. That said, there are only 12 places between those two on the FIFA rankings. Brazil are 67 places ahead of South Africa and are playing like men possessed. Men possessed by really good footballers.
If they were playing like men possessed by kingklip or desk lamps or bits of polystyrene, then it wouldn’t be so bad, but I have this horrible feeling deep in my head than Bafana are going back to footballing school this evening.

That said, tickets are all but sold out for the game and the support for Bafana will be fanatical and will include at least some (or more) vuvuzelas (or so I would imagine). Maybe turn the sound down if you don’t like the noise.
Just an idea. Tolerance and respect for others, you see?


Confed Cup opening: Shine2010

Nothing would please me more than to be wrong about the scoreline – I have neither affiliation nor huge admiration for Brazil, but they’re on top of their game at the moment and are hot favourites.

One more thing: Boston.com have done one of their famous The Big Picture spreads on Soccer in South Africa. There are some superb photos in there, numbers 14 and 18 being my favourites.

Shhh!

The world has ended.

Or so it would seem if you were to tune into Cape Talk today. Whities from all races – anxious not to miss the ‘soccer’ bandwagon – have tuned into the Confederations Cup and are upset by several issues:

1. The rules of the game,
2. The way the black people in the crowd booed the white bloke playing for SA and
3. The noise of the trumpets – called ‘vuvuzelas’.

Of course the ball is round, not like a proper ball, which is oval. And the goal posts stop at the crossbar instead of making a giant H shape. Weird. And the players don’t use their hands. And they’re allowed to pass forward. Weirder.

The white bloke playing for SA is Matthew Booth. ‘BOOOOOOOTH!’ shout his adoring fans when he has the ball, prompting desperately misconstrued allegations of racism from the uneducated paler quarter of Cape Town.

Finally, the vuvuzela issue. ‘We don’t do that at rugby, so it can’t be right!’
Oh please.
The vuvuzela is to SA football what the braai is to the Afrikaner. And you are ruining your desperate attempts to be trendy by watching football by trying to change it. Ain’t happening. The vuvuzela will be the trademark of the 2010 World Cup.

Here’s a newsflash! Just because you weren’t watching doesn’t mean that football didn’t exist. In fact, it was getting along quite happily before you turned up and started moaning.

Want to stop the irritating noise that’s spoiling it for everybody? THEN STOP WHINING!

Have I won?

After the misery of yesterday’s Wembley play-off defeat, I’m all ready to give up football for good.

Ja, right.

But I could do with some good footballing news to take away a little of yesterday’s hurt – and I may just have got it.

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Following a mysterious call to my cellphone a few days ago, I have now received an email telling me that I have won tickets to the Confederations Cup next month. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but this isn’t like the “You’ve won the Nederlandse Staatsloterij” emails that you and I are always getting. (I have now secured over €1bn on the Dutch Lotto without having spent a single cent. It’s great value for money.)

No, this email appears to be from a competition that I actually entered and they don’t need $300 to let me have my prize. Also, the email originated in South Africa, the telephone numbers match up and there were no spelling or grammatical errors. If it is a phishing scam, it’s a damn good one. So good that I’m almost tempted to give them the information they need.

I’m still not completely convinced though, so watch this space. I refuse to get excited because I very rarely win stuff. My biggest haul ever was a month’s supply of breakfast cereal for winning a quiz on KFM. And I had to chat to Nic Marais to get that – I surely deserved more.

Maybe the reason I rarely win stuff is because I rarely enter competitions. Although, that means nothing, as my Nederlandse Staatsloterij success proves.