Clarkson loses Manx court case

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Much joy on the Isle of Man today as BBC Top Gear presenter and Manx resident Jeremy Clarkson will have to reopen a footpath he had fenced off on the beautiful Langness peninsular. This after the decision of a public enquiry went against him.

Jeremy and his family own the lighthouse which sits on Dreswick Point at the southernmost  tip of the Island. The area is a haven for wildlife and has some stunning views, which made it popular for evening walks long before the Clarkson clan arrived. Personally, I can remember many wonderful evenings there as a kid, kicking a football along the lighthouse road and looking for driftwood by the foghorn.
But clearly ignoring caveat emptor, Mrs Clarkson – Frances Cain – objected that people were walking around the lighthouse (as they had been since it was built 130 years ago) and looking in through her windows.
Evidently, despite Top Gear being the biggest BBC export worldwide, purchasing blinds was still an issue.

However, in October 2006, Mr Clarkson found some spare change in an old jacket and with it, put a fence across the public right of way, the erection of which upset a whole heap of local residents. Now, after a lengthy and bitter legal battle, those local residents  – led by Ian Costain – have won their case and Mr Clarkson must reinstate the footpath around his home.

…the inspector found that all the routes had indeed been used as of right for enough years for them to have become highways, and needing to be added to the Rights of Way map.

So it would seem that “the Greatest Living Briton” (as the Tall Accountant refers to him) is just another ordinary citizen on the Isle of Man. Which is exactly how it should be.

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On fielding weakened teams

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The MASSIVE match this coming weekend is the MASSIVE clash between MASSIVE rivals, the Stormers of Cape Town and the Bulls of Pretoria in the Super 14 rugby tournament. And there’s a MASSIVE amount at stake, with the Stormers looking for a lucrative (and potentially winnable) home semi-final, which they will get if they win this game.

The Bulls have a had a great season and are already guaranteed to finish top: they will have home advantage for both the semi-final and the final (assuming they win that semi). And – safe in the knowledge that those conditions are already fulfilled – they are going to field a weakened team against the Stormers at Newlands on Saturday. And that has led to protests from teams in Australia and New Zealand, as Kevin McCallum explains:

At 4.52am on Tuesday morning, the whining began nine time zones away. An email arrived in inboxes from the Sydney Morning Herald with the headline: “Blow to Waratahs as Bulls set to rest stars in South African stitch-up.”
The stitch-up? Well, having already secured for themselves the number one spot in the league, the Bulls are considering giving Victor Matfield, Fourie du Preez, Gurthro Steenkamp et al a rest ahead of the semifinal. Not an entirely unreasonable move, you might say. Not across the water, however.

“It reeks of a South African stitch-up in the Super 14,” reads the report.
“With one round to go, the integrity of rugby’s premier provincial competition could be compromised with tournament leaders, the Bulls, set to field a second-string team against the Stormers in the top-of-the-table clash in Cape Town.
The Waratahs, currently third on the ladder with 38 points and one point behind the Stormers, will get to play a semifinal at the Sydney Football Stadium if they beat the Hurricanes on Friday night and the Stormers lose to the Bulls. Such a game could boost the Waratahs’ coffers by several hundred thousand dollars.
The odds of the Stormers hosting a semifinal in Cape Town will be shortened if the Bulls field a weakened team. Such a result would be unfair to teams such as the Waratahs and the Crusaders from Christchurch who are both seeking a home semifinal and have both lost to full-strength Bulls teams this season.”

The thing is – while their suggestion that the Bulls would ever do the Stormers any sort of favour in this regard is laughable – and much as I hate to agree with whining Aussies – they’re actually correct. It’s completely unfair and it shouldn’t be allowed.

But my feelings on this issue go far deeper than just this silly egg-chasing event on Saturday. As a Sheffield United fan, I’m fed up with the big sides playing weakened teams for matches against relegation-threatened smaller teams. Who can forget the team that Liverpool put out against Fulham in May 2007? Well, everyone actually, because no-one had ever heard of any of the players. Two of them were still in nappies.
Of course, Liverpool (Reserves) promptly lost that game, Fulham got the 3 points and stayed up at our expense.

Red scum Manchester United are famed for resting players ahead of “big” games: against West Ham in 2007, against Hull last season.
And this season, Fulham were found not guilty of fielding a weakened side, despite resting 5 of their key players for a game against the Tigers.

Look, my rationale on this is fairly simple, so even Bulls supporters should be able to follow it without too much difficulty:

If you’re playing in a knockout competition, like the FA Cup (or like a Super 14 semi-final), then as far as I’m concerned, you can field who the hell you like. Field your 6 year old granddaughter at scrum-half if you want. Because, when that decision backfires (and it usually will, because she’s rubbish) and she fumbles a greasy ball at the back of a 79th minute ruck on your 22 and the opposition runs in the winning try, the only team affected by your silly idea is yours. Hard luck, sunshine.
However, if you are in a league competition, where that 79th minute winning try might affect other teams aside from the one you’re playing against, then fielding a 6 year old should not be allowed. And yes, even though the Bulls have “earned” themselves the right to rest their big names, they really shouldn’t be allowed to.

This is based on fairness and on logic. I have carefully stayed away from the emotional “the fans pay good money and don’t get to see the big names” argument, though it should probably be considered by SANZAR when (if?) the weakened teams issue is discussed.

I’m not suggesting that they should alter the rules before this Saturday – that wouldn’t be fair on the Bulls. Ag, Shame.
But there should be a new ruling and some clarity over what constitutes good sportsmanship over this issue, which will surely arise again in future seasons. In the meantime, as far as I’m concerned, the Aussies and the Kiwis have every right to cry foul.

Dara O’Briain does Homeopathy

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I popped this video on here because I was watching this performance from Dara O’Briain last night on the BBC Entertainment Comedy Festival and he had me crying with laughter.
He’s obviously annoyed by exactly the same idiots as me: homeopaths, priests, nutrionists and astrologers. But his methods of dealing with them are far better than mine.

Warning! This clip contains occasional naughty words.

And this on the back of a brief twitter discussion yesterday with the great minds of @JacquesR and @ComradeSipho (who has previous form, guv) as to whether the opinions of “ordinary” people should be recognised as legitimate substance for journalists.

Once again, Dara and I are singing from the same hymnsheet on that one.

Exactly wet

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Look, it has been raining a fair amount in Cape Town over the last few days. This is to be expected. Cape Town’s 3½ annual months of winter have begun and September and the spring that it allegedly brings with it seems a long way away right now.  
Kirstenbosch had over 50mm of rain yesterday and they’ve added to that with some frighteningly heavy stuff overnight.

So what will the rest of the week bring?
Step forward the South African Weather Service website:

Not great, hey?
But then check out that rain for tomorrow. A 30% chance of 6.8mm. 6.8. Six. Point. Eight.
Not six point five. Nor seven point zero.
Nope: to go with Steers’ infamous Wacky Wednesday – the day each week upon which one is able to purchase twice as many of last week’s least popular burger than one could have done last week for the same money as one would have spent on said burger the previous week if one actually had any inclination to buy it – SAWS have made tomorrow Super Accurate Tuesday.

I’ve done some rudimentary calculations and I reckon that to increase the height of the rainwater column collected in a standard pluviometer (which would have an 8″ or 20.32cm funnel arrangement), you would need around 67 large (3.6–5.1 mm) raindrops.
Now that might seem a lot, but when you think about how many raindrops fall in the average heavy shower (we’re talking literally hundreds of millions), it’s really not.

This suggests to me that either SAWS have invested heavily in highly accurate and expensive rain-measuring equipment (when really the money would have been better spent on a decent website) or, more likely, that they are just messing us around and we can actually expect a whole 7mm of rain tomorrow.

Meanwhile, in other weather news on the SAWS site, be on the lookout for NW winds gusting to 51.358kmh which may result in waves with heights in excess of 7.046m between Cape Columbine and a specific rock 1.967481km west of Plettenberg Bay.

Three things

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And they’re all about football, so if that sort of thing doesn’t intere… hello? Hello?

Hmm. Well, bugger you. I’m going to write it anyway.

Firstly, well done to Chelsea, who emphatically finished off the Premiership season with a little 8-0 drubbing of hapless Wigan “Athletic”.

Secondly, it’s 25 years since the Bradford Fire – the “forgotten tragedy of the Eighties“. 56 people died at that football match.
I can remember watching it on the news the next morning. I’d have been 11 years old and it would have been a Sunday. I had a habit of going downstairs at about 6am and watching the breakfast kids’ TV (such as it was back then), but the morning TV was dominated with the news of the fire. The pictures were horrific – I can still clearly see the man staggering out of the stand – on fire, but seemingly not even realising it.
It meant more because it was local to us and because there were so many stories of children being killed and injured just because they went to what should have been a celebratory match at the end of their championship winning season.
That top link is worth reading.

Finally, more happy news. We spent the afternoon at the Waterfront, gazing momentarily at the World Cup trophy. That’s my picture of it on the right. It was part of the Coca-Cola sponsored Trophy Tour and, despite the rain, was very well attended.
There was live music, an emotional 3D film of World Cups past (and future) and of course, the actual trophy. It was boxed in perspex, but you could get within a metre of it and no-one tried to steal it (as far as I’m aware).

Which isn’t very South African, now is it?