learning curve – Page 212

Z is for…

Posted on July 8, 2015July 9, 2015

Phezulu Safari Park was arguably the second most bizarre place we visited in KZN. (More on the winner of that auspicious prize at a later date.)
A mish-mash of animals, posh housing, a curio shop, an apparently traditional Zulu village and a snake park, the reviews on Trip Advisor were divided, from the sublime through to the frankly terrifying. It wasn’t cheap either, so we were taking a bit of a chance.

First up was the tourist-aimed – but still educational – Zulu dancing and village tour. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this was that about 70% of the audience was Zulu. The dancing was good, the story-telling and village tour, interesting. I learned a lot.

The (45 minute) game drive was initially disappointing, but then I had been rather spoilt recently at San Bona. Still, the kids got to see a giraffe up close (real close) and then we headed back towards the reception place, through the larney housing complex. And, weirdly, that’s where all the animals were. We were asked not to take photos with houses in the background, and we did our best to comply, but it was difficult, because literally, that’s where all the animals were. Wildebees, impala and zebra all over your grass: lawnmowing and fertilising in one.

The beagle would have (rightfully) gone bonkers. The guide told us that there was nothing there that would eat you (‘erbivores, in’t they?), but that an irritated wildebees would happily trample you to death. (And we all know about the dangers of giraffes already.)

It wasn’t San Bona (although in fairness, it never claimed to be), and the kids did enjoy seeing the animals at such close quarters. But it was a bit of a weird experience.
As I mentioned above, the reviews do seem to be a bit hit and miss, and that describes our experience pretty well.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you are headed that way, this might just be for you. Or it might not.

Chemtrails? You’re Welkom.

Posted on July 3, 2015July 6, 2015

I mean, we see them over Sheffield all the time, and we don’t get them over Cape Town (save perhaps for the odd occasion when SA223 takes a slightly southerly track), but now “they” are spraying chemtrails all over the Free State, affecting the weather patterns and effecting “their” mind control on the citizens of Welkom. (Good luck with that.)

Don’t believe me? Just check out this video evidence.

Obviously, it couldn’t just be vapour trails from one of the numerous daily Cape Town to Joburg flights which pass almost directly over Welkom, could it?

Although, of course, that’s what “they” want you to think. Because that’s how “they” disguise “their” nefarious acts, isn’t it? I’ve been fooled.

One of the commenters on that video is a one Jo Rautenbach. Jo is no fool when it comes to the truth about chemtrails:

maybe you and I are the only ones aware of this stuff if 82 people have watched this and nobody has anything to say!

Or maybe nobody is allowed to comment, Jo… hashtag mind control.
Jo’s Youtube profile makes vaguely interesting reading, with likes on videos by US loons about the Pope, and CERN and ley lines, and crop circles in the Netherlands and 12th planet observation, interspersed with the highlights of various sessions of the Co-operative Funeralcare European Masters bowls tournament.

If you ever happen to read this, Jo, then yes, obviously I am a secret agent from the CIA/Mossad/The Illuminati/Project Nibiru sent with the mission of ridiculing you and your beliefs.

And I’d just like to say a big thank you for making it so very easy to do.

Hangover Cure

Posted on June 28, 2015June 25, 2015

What a night. How are you feeling this morning?

I spotted this on the Barristers menu recently, and thought it might be of some use one day.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

It’s from American humourist Robert Benchley.
(He was born 8 days after Sheffield United’s first ever match) (we lost 4-1) (it got better) (a bit).

He may have a point on that cure thing, although the symptoms can be readily relieved by taking copious amounts of Red Bull and Corenza C and spending several hours in bed.

Long Haul

Posted on June 27, 2015February 7, 2023

I’m currently on a local flight, assuming that all has gone well with the somewhat radical plan of waking up and getting to the airport. My last few tripss have been intercontinental behemoths, with door to door journey times of nearly 24 hours. But they each included two flights, and door to door means getting to airport, checking in, connecting and catching a train at the other end etc etc. It could have been a lot worse. I could have been on one of these flights – the top three longest commercial long haul flights… IN THE WORLD [/clarkson]

Straight In At Number Three:
Los Angeles to Abu Dhabi on Etihad is 8390 miles and 16.5 hours
(LAX-AUH, EY170, B777)

Pros: You go pretty much right over the North Pole.
Abu Dhabi is an awesome connection hub.

Cons: You have either been, or worse still, are now in Los Angeles (Where the helicopters got cameras).

______________

A New Entry At Number Two:
Atlanta to Johannesburg on Delta is 8439 miles and 16.5 hours
(ATL-JNB, DL200, B777)

Pros: Kruger National Park. Africa!

Cons: No flat topped Mountain.

______________

But Your Number One Is Still:
Dallas to Sydney on Qantas is 8578 miles and 17 hours
(DFW-SYD, QF8, A380)

Pros: None.

Cons: Dallas. Sydney.

This is the world’s biggest airliner on the world’s longest route. The A380 carries a massive 323,000 litres of fuel for this trip.

______________

Compare and contrast these with the shortest scheduled commercial flight in the world: The 1.7 mile hop between two Orkney Islands just north of Scotland: Papa Westray and Westray (PPW-WRY, LOG358, Britten Norman Islander).
Operated by Loganair, the flight duration is officially two minutes. Here’s a video indicating the distance between the two airfields:

There’s also a video of the Sydney – Dallas flight, but that’s a whole lot longer and has Americans and Australians all over it.

I’ll spare you.

Essential Reading

Posted on June 23, 2015

I don’t read enough, apparently.
I don’t do a lot of things enough, according to some people. They like to judge me by their lifestyles and can’t understand why I don’t read enough, watch movies or spend every Saturday morning at a hipster market. I don’t think that I don’t read enough, I just think that I don’t read as much as they read. And that’s an altogether different thing. By the same criteria, they don’t blog enough. I’m just saying.

Anyway, maybe “I don’t read enough” because the stuff that’s out there to read isn’t very good. (I did make it through this abridged version of Grey last night though, so, you know, be proud of me.) But now, I have discovered this:

Redcliffe banged the original version out in 1949, but it was this 1985 revised impression which took the proverbial biscuit, thanks in part to the input from renowned potato scholar and Emeritus Professor of Plant Biology at the University of Birmingham, J.G. Hawkes, and – many believe – the additional chapter on INDUSTRIAL USES by W.G Burton.

This is a book filled with facts and figures:

But being of scientific bent, that’s just fine by me. Facts and figures are my bread and butter. Although, being that this magnificent tome was first published in the 40s, there is a certain dated style of language. I find it intriguing that Salaman borrowed descriptions from other crops though; the extent of cereal crops, for example, was always described as, say, the area “under wheat”. Quite how he got away with “under potatoes”, this being a subterranean crop, is rather beyond me.

It’s these sort of foibles that intrigue me and, despite the somewhat extravagant cost, I’m going to be reading all about spuds and how they’ve affected all of our lives, very shortly.