Category: emigration

Positive thoughts from Gordon Gilbert

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I don’t have too much to add to this excellent interview with footballer Gordon Gilbert – “The Jock who became a Bok” – from The Scotsman:

Although he was brought up in Scotland, Gordon Gilbert was born in South Africa, where he now lives and works. For a few weeks every summer, he is back in Perthshire, telling people what it is like over there, and why it is special, but too many of them just don’t get it. Too many of them have no idea about the host nation of the 2010 World Cup finals. 

Firstly, putting the record straight for the “experts” on the country who have never even been here (one of my pet hates):

“People have the wrong impression of South Africa,” he says. “People who have never been there think that there are elephants roaming about the streets and monkeys climbing the trees in your garden. Once you’ve been there, you realise how far that is from the truth. You see how beautiful it is, how the crime and all the negative stuff is blown out of proportion. It’s certainly not a third-world country in my eyes.”

See? It’s not just me.
On vuvuzelas (also here) and the atmosphere at South African games:

“I don’t know if you’ve heard of these vuvuzelas, horns that are constantly being blown during the match. My stepdad, who has watched football all his days, came over to watch me in the Nedbank Cup final, and he said he’d never experienced anything like it.
The noise is unbelievable. They are up dancing, playing the drums, getting very emotional about the outcome. For the players, it is just brilliant.”

And then, the really serious stuff – how will this tournament help unite this historically and culturally divided nation?

Whether the finals will help football to bridge the racial divide is another matter. Gilbert is one of few white players in South African football. Another is Matthew Booth, who plays for the national team. There will be plenty talk these next few weeks of the Rainbow Nation, of the game’s potential to unite black and white, just as there was after the 1995 Rugby World Cup – when Mandela famously donned the Springbok jersey – but is it realistic? 

“It’s difficult for me to think that, just because we’ve got the World Cup finals, everybody is going to mix overnight. Yes, they are now living and working together in the same country, but the cultures are very different. If you go to a rugby game, the guys are very reserved. They’re not blowing horns like they do in football. Will there be more whites in football because of this? I don’t know. What I do know is that South African football will be the stronger for it. People are not going to look down on it anymore.

Of course, this interview, published on Sunday, was almost certainly done before the all South African Super14 final between the Bulls and the Stormers. Because that was packed full of vuvuzelas, start to finish. And gave us these amazing photos.
Maybe Gordon might want to revise his thoughts on that one…

Many thanks to Altus Momberg for the heads up.

Models of Perception

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With the World Cup just 19 days away, we have had a utterly superb spell of weather in Cape Town. Lest you forget, since we are in the bottom half of the world, geographically speaking, the tournament is going to fall right in the middle of winter here. And, since probably the biggest medium-term benefit of hosting 31 countries and the entire world’s TV audience is the opportunity for everyone to see what a great place this is to visit, the weather could play a huge part in the world’s perception.

While Jo’burg has the official broadcast centre, many individual networks, including the influential BBC and Sky Sports, are choosing to base their anchor teams in Cape Town. It’s a decision that they may regret and so may we.
When you choose to base yourself in a glass box about 200m from the South Atlantic Ocean in the middle of winter, you’re taking a big chance. If the weather is like it was today, you’ve hit the jackpot as the sun goes down with peachy-orange goodness and illuminates the City Bowl for a winning backdrop.
But we’ll be VERY lucky to get away with that on each of the 31 days of the competition. In fact, I’d go so far as to say there’s absolutely no chance of 31 peachy-orange specials. If we’d held it in January, we’d be sorted. But no – apparently that would have clashed with the domestic seasons in Argentina, Brazil, North Korea, Denmark, Germany, South Africa, Ghana, Uruguay, France, Paraguay, Portugal, Turkey, Spain, Australia and Japan, to mention but a few. And Turkey didn’t even qualify.

But I digress.

The fact is that the weather in Cape Town is far more likely to be bloody awful. Grey, wet, cold and windy. Like it was last week. The BBC’s rooftop fishtank is going to be rather exposed.
If it even survives.  
Last week’s miserable meterology almost put me off living here. And if it rains like that during the World Cup (and it might), I sense very damp and very despondent fans and possibly even postponed or abandoned games. And Gary Lineker taking the p!ss.
All of which is going to put viewers off Cape Town and South Africa as a potential holiday destination.

Guys, it’s still not too late for my big sponge idea.

Reuters joins the bandwagon

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Oh PLEASE!

Tourists in South Africa including soccer fans heading to the World Cup must guard against mosquito bites and avoid contact with raw meat due to an outbreak of Rift Valley fever, the World Health Organization said on Tuesday.
Many tourists visit South Africa’s game parks and the WHO warned visitors to avoid contact with dead animals — another way of catching the disease.

Yes. Do avoid the dead animals which litter South Africa’s game parks. Indeed, last time I was in a game park, I couldn’t move for dead animals. There are so many of them that they use them to make the roads and houses out of. Dead animals. Everywhere.
What Reuters and the WHO fail to mention is that death may also be caused by several of the live animals in these parks as well. In fact, I would argue that this is far more dangerous than having contact with the dead animals. Which are everywhere.

Officials in South Africa, the host of the 2010 World Cup from June 11 to July 11, have reported 172 human cases of the animal viral disease this year.

172 cases, eh? Out of a population of 46 million people. Truly Hectic. 
What they neglect to mention is that ALL 172 WERE FOOTBALL FANS! Because that is the high risk group for Rift Valley Fever.
I know this because I’m a microbiologist. And a football fan.
But I’m safe because I wear one of those suits like Dustin Hoffman in Outbreak while I’m wading through the thigh-deep heaps of dead animals in the local game parks.

The virus can be transmitted through the handling of animal tissue during slaughtering or butchering, assisting with animal births, veterinary procedures or from disposing of carcasses.
Herders, farmers, slaughterhouse workers and veterinarians are at higher risk of infection.

Sorry, that should obviously read:

Herders, farmers, slaughterhouse workers, veterinarians and football fans are at higher risk of infection.

Especially if those football fans are going to watch some footy in our amazing new stadiums and then go and do some herding, farming, abattoir and veterinary work. Which, after all, is what football fans usually do after games.

Ah yes, it brings a tear to the eye as I remember watching the mighty Red And White Wizzards at Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane and then hurrying, along with the other 30,000 spectators, out along the A630 and the A57 out into Derbyshire to assist with animal births, handle some animal tissue (careful now) and dispose of some carcasses.
I mean, it’s like a ritual for most football fans, isn’t it? A quick pint before the game, 90 minutes of exciting football with a dodgy pie at half time and then off to do some veterinary procedures.
Right.

So yes. You might get Rift Valley Fever if you interact with dead animals in South Africa.
So don’t interact with dead animals in South Africa.

And if you believe this sort of thing poses a genuine risk to you. And the thing about the earthquakes. And the supposed race war. 
Then just don’t come. Really.

We won’t miss you.

Goal.com Traveller’s Guide To South Africa: Crime And Safety

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It’s actually very difficult to get an objective view on crime and safety in South Africa. As with many subjects, it depends on the perceptions of the individual as to what sort of report you’re going to get. And those reports will range from the hysteria of the ex-pat in Perth to the firmly-staying-put South African ostrich with his head in the sand pretending everything is peachy.
The imminent arrival of the FIFA World Cup has not only increased the discussion around this issue, it has further polarised the differing viewpoints.

But, you may be surprised to learn, neither of these extremes is actually the case.

Here at 6000 miles… we’ve always taken the more sensible middle-of-the-road route. Yes, there is a problem, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to get raped, murdered, robbed, mugged or anything else while you’re here in South Africa. 
It’s actually not the crime that is the real problem when discussing crime – it’s the perception of the crime: 

The United Nations Interregional Crime and Justice Research Institute have conducted research on the victims of crime in the country, which shows the picture of South African crime as more typical of a developing country.
These statistics show that South Africa has lower rates of violent crime than most African and South American countries, but due to the fact that South Africa is often compared to the developed world, the crime rate is considered high when measured against the likes of England, the US, Italy, Germany and other first world countries.

And at last, it seems that some sort of reasonable voice has made it into the media ahead of the World Cup in the form of Goal.com’s Traveller’s Guide to South Africa: Crime and Safety. It’s like a longer and more detailed version of the infamous Big South African Crime Post of almost three years ago.
And I can’t find fault with it at all.

In the lead up to the World Cup, I’m going to be doing a number of posts on what to expect when visiting South Africa, but goal.com’s Peter Pedroncelli has saved me the job on the whole safety and security issue. Thanks, Pete.

If you’re coming for the World Cup (or even if you’re not) read it and get a dose of reality.

UPDATE: More sense from Andrew Harding.

Race war still not happening

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After the recent hugely disappointing news that South Africa’s eagerly anticipated (by the press) Race War had been postponed due to a lack of protagonists sunshine, many people have been getting in touch with us here at 6000 miles… asking when exactly the rearranged date for the Race War is.
Well, I was heading out to buy a sandwich at the local Café Lacomia wondering what the best way of predicting the outbreak of the Race War would be, when I had an epiphany in that regard.
As you do.
The café in question is located in a branch of Builders Warehouse, a local chain of DIY/Gardening stores. If you are in the UK, you would probably be best comparing this to a B&Q.  

Of course, there are some local peculiarities: Builder Whorehouse has an extensive swimming pool section, B&Q doesn’t need one of them. The store also stocks pangas (pangae?) – better known worldwide as machetes. Considering there is heavy duty gardening to be done in the UK as well, I’m surprised that they’re not more popular over there, but they’re not.
Of course, the panga is also often noted as an African weapon of war and will be much in evidence on the darker side of the front lines when the Race War is eventually rescheduled.

         

Presumably, the paler guys will be armed with Black and Decker weedeaters which should present a formidable defence, Eskom willing. And as long as the little stringy bit doesn’t break too often. 

Either way, when the Race War comes about, there will obviously be a period of arming up before the actual fighting begins. And where better for your local Xhosa Warrior to buy his panga than Builders Warehouse, with its amazing No-Quibble Guarantee?

That’s where my “forearmed is forewarned” plan comes in:
The Builders Warehouse Panga Race War Prediction Index.

No, it’s not catchy and neither is the BWPRWPI acronym. It sounds a bit like a wet fart.
But it will work. Because right now, the local Builders Warehouse has a huge number of pangas (pangae?) in stock. Great for hacking back that dense bush or those Bloody Agents with White Tendencies.
And should that number drop suddenly and considerably, then I will bet that there will be trouble ahead. Thus, the BWPRWPI is measured as the percentage of pangae (pangas?) remaining in stock, using yesterday’s numbers as a benchmark of 100%. (Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on the weedeaters as well, just in case there’s a sudden and unexpected AWB uprising in Cape Town.)

Right now, the BWPRWPI remains steady at 100.
Which is bad news for Builders Warehouse, but wonderful for the Rainbow Nation.