Wel, not so much a travel “ban” as it being placed on the UK’s red list, along with a the Maldives and Nepal. I have a bit of a personal interest in the decision, so I was looking for answers as to why Turkey might have been added to the list, the effect of which is that travellers from there will have to isolate at a hotel in the UK for 10 days at their own cost.
To the untrained eye, it might just seem that their open borders and large spike in cases might be the reason, but that’s just to the untrained eye, so I went searching for a trained eye, on which might be able to give some better insight.
It didn’t take me long to find Nico00503.
Despite what it says there, a quick look shows us that Nico00503 has actually been shouting into the void on twitter for a few months now, but no-one is listening, because that’s what voids do best. Or don’t do worst, at least.
Well, it’s time to change all that, because he has incisive comment to offer on everything. And that includes that Turkey red-list decision announced yesterday. And the untrained eyes were all wrong: it’s all about the [checks notes] UEFA Champions League Final. Man City v Chelsea, right? Right.
Of course it is.
Of course UK WANT CHAM LEAGUE FINAL PLAY IN UK. It makes complete sense. Think of all the money they’ll make with all the fans not allowed to attend. And all that extra cash from airport taxes by preventing fans travelling to Istanbul (“UK GOV ALSO DONE PRESSURE ASKING OWN CITIZEN DONT GO ISTANBUL”) to not attend the game they aren’t allowed to attend. And if you think differently, then just remember IT IS BIG LIE. PRESSURE NOT FOR COZ CORONA. Yeah. Infamously, British teams have a terrible record in CHAM LEAGUE FINAL PLAY IN Istanbul.
Although, late last year (when there were ten time fewer cases each day in Turkey), Nico00503 had other ideas:
It takes a big man to look at a different situation and be willing to publicly change his mind on the big issues. And no-one wants CORONA KEEP GROWN UP COUNTRY. And clearly, the only plan to prevent CORONA KEEP GROWN UP COUNTRY is NO ENTRY ISTANBUL AND NO OUT FROM ISTANBUL,COMPLETELY NEED IT LOCKDOWN IN ISTANBUL.
Well, then, at least. Not now. Now it’s all about MAKING PRESSURE TO UEFA.
Amazed by the clarity of Nico00503’s argument on this, I went looking on his timeline for answers to questions I didn’t even know I needed to ask. And there were plenty to be had. Like how to make money in the UK.
Wow. Such straightforward stuff when you think about it. IN UK DOG ARE HOLY DOG. So yes, IF I SALE 2 OR 3 DOGS EWERY WEEK, there’s quite literally millions to be made. Could there be a South African spin-off? MAYBE I START DOING DOG BUSINESSS.
Medical note: If you start doing dog business, maybe consult your GP.
Nico00503 also has advice for the new mayors in the UK:
Wow. That’s bad news for JUNKEYS,CRIMINAL SHIT PEOPLE ARUND THE MANY CITY. These live televised executions might seem a little harsh at first glance (and probably for quite some time thereafter as well, to be honest) but we all need to remember that THEY ARE NOT SWEETHEART.
And then some vital information as to the origins of Coronavirus. Scientists have been trying to pinpoint this for a while now. They should have just talked to Nico00503.
And again, that thing about DOGGY BUSINES. And why? JUST COZ ABOUT MONEY,TAKE CONTROL,TO OWN SOMETHINK.
Exactly, Nico00503. SOMETHINK, but most people never even apply their minds at all. I can see that we are both thinkers. Kindred spirits, if you will.
I thought that some sort of hugely successful vaccine programme might be the reason for decrease in Covid-19 cases in the UK. You think differently. Of course you do:
To be honest, I never even considered that UK GOV,JOHNSON DONE, HOCUS POKUS AGAINST THE CORONA. But it does appear to have had a magical effect. Or maybe that’s not what it was at all. Maybe the way forward was just to get around to ASKING CORONA MAKE PAUSE FOR THE SUMMER. Other nations should try this approach. Of course, given our precarious geographical position right at the bottom of the Southern hemisphere, our government would have to consider ASKING CORONA MAKE PAUSE FOR THE WINTER. If only we’d realised that ending the global pandemic was a simple as a quick magic trick and a gentle request to the virus’ better side.
Look, this might be my blog, but this is very much Nico00503’s blog post. Consequently, it would be wrong of me to leave you with my thoughts here. And how could I even compete with the mind-blowingly obvious, but so clearly understated, genius like this kind of thing? No. If there’s one thing you take away from today’s post and maybe even from 2021, let it be this thought from our erstwhile protagonist:
Have a great day.