Tag: bacon

Woolies stuff

Posted on

We all know how it works now. Buy everything you need at Checkers, but get your fresh produce at Woolies. And because your fresh produce is usually full of good things, you set up Woolies as your Discovery Healthy Eating place, and you get some money back as a lump sum at some point.

But I noticed a couple of Woolies things that didn’t quite add up (literally in one case, lol) this week.
First off, this on some puff pastry:

I’m glad it’s Made with Butter. Puff pastry is meant to be rich and buttery, and it being Made with Butter adds to at least two of those attributes.

What I don’t get is the connection between it being Made with Butter, and the image of the teacup and saucer. It’s not the first thing I think of when I think about butter. Crockery-wise, that would be the Butter Dish, and cutlery-wise, that would be the Butter Knife. Now, were it Made with Tea, personally, I’d likely go for the teapot, but there’s no way I would chastise anyone symbolising a product which was Made with Tea with a teacup and saucer. That’s absolutely fine.

But this puff pastry wasn’t Made with Tea, it was Made with Butter, and so if anyone can please explain the relevance of the teacup and saucer image in this context and on this packaging, I’m all ears.

And then this, in-store:

Diced Bacon is expensive. Here, we can see that it is priced at R84.99 for 500g. Thank goodness it’s not R85.00, which would be over my cut-off point for buying 500g of Diced Bacon. But R84.99 for 500g is the equivalent of R169.98 per kilogram.

Or so I thought.

But it you were to take a kilo of this delicious cured meat to the checkout, it appears that you would be charged a hefty INFINITY Rands. and that’s a lot. More specifically, that is:

a number greater than any assignable quantity or countable number

which is certainly more than R169.98. Even I can assign a quantity and count to that.

I know that Woolies has a reputation for being somewhat on the pricey side, but this idea of Infinity Rands for 1000g of chopped heaven would likely break the till display. To put it in perspective, it’s more PER KILO than Russia fined Google for being American naughty, and that was more than all the money in the world.

“I can’t even pronounce this number, but it is more likely imbued with symbolism,” the Kremlin spokesperson, Dmitry Peskov, told Russian news agencies.
“Google should not restrict the actions of our broadcasters, but it does. That said, this fine is still not as much as a couple of packets of bacon from Woolies in Cape Town, but we are not expecting to be paid in pork,” he added.

We tried to reach Mr Peskov for comment on the whole Made with Butter teacup picture thing, but his office said that he was “busy”.

Which was disappointing.

Next Sunday’s Breakfast

Posted on

On a whim (and with whatever spare ingredients I could find at the time: bread, eggs, bacon), I made some Baked Eggs in Bacon Wraps for breakfast this morning. The culinary experience that followed was such that I feel safe in advising you to try the same next weekend.

I got my recipe from food.com. Seriously, when you’re looking for some information about food, who else would you choose to trust that the people who own the food.com domain? They must know their onions. Literally. The people at onions.com say so.

Here is that recipe, reproduced with my hints and tips for your delectation:

    1. Preheat oven 375 degrees. That’s 190 degrees Celsius, Gas Mark 5.
    2. In medium frying pan fry bacon to soft transparent stage. See through bacon FTW!
    3. Drain on paper towels.
    4. Line each slice around the side of each muffin cup. Ends may overlap.
    5. Break egg directly in the center of each muffin cup. 12 cup muffin pan. Do you know the muffin man?
    6. Lightly salt and pepper. Kids don’t like pepper. “Too burny!”
    7. Cook 15 to 20 minutes. 13 was enough for mine.
    8. Watch for whites and yolks to begin to set. Unexciting. 
    9. Take out with small spatula on a serving plate. The serving plate got in the way of my small spatula, so I took my small spatula off the serving plate and just used it as a solo small spatula.
    10. Serve with fork and knife. Or go wild and include a spoon.
    11. If you want the tops to be basted,after ten minutes of cooking, baste each egg once with 1/2 teaspoon of water. I don’t like bastard eggs.
    12. You can fry bacon the night before and drain and refrigerate for morning. Don’t do this. You will eat the bacon the night before. Rookie error. 

I have no idea why WordPress has decided to add letters instead of numbers. Here on the back end that list is in numbers. Click ‘Preview’ and suddenly it’s all CAPITAL LETTERS. I don’t like it when computers decided to do things like that. It’s like they think they know best. And they don’t.

yes we do.

Right. That does it. Try and stop me hitting ‘Publish’, you electronic git.

(Obviously, If you’re reading this, I won.)