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Shaik: In of uit?

Posted on June 13, 2011June 14, 2011

Draftfcb Cape Town ‘Shaiks’ things up in the Mother City with this proactive piece it recently developed for Die Burger to emphasise the newspaper’s pay-off line, ‘Praat Saam’, which loosely translates as ‘join the conversation’.
Posters of convicted fraudster, Schabir Shaik, who has been in and out of jail a number of times, were placed behind and in front of railings around Cape Town. The headline asks: ‘In or Out?’

Here’s the piece in question, doing its thing:

Provocatively proactive indeed. And popular too, apparently:

“This tongue-in-cheek way of drawing attention to Shaik’s prison antics – he’s been incarcerated, released on medical parole, rearrested for assault and released again – has been loved by the people of Cape Town,” said one of the Creative Directors on the piece, Aaron Harris. “There’s been a lot of hooting and laughing as people pass the strategically placed ads.”

But look out – there’s some ad-speak coming:

“At the same time, however, the treatment challenges readers to form their own opinion, backed by the insights they have gleaned from Die Burger’s superior quality journalism. So, does he deserve special treatment? Was he framed? As Cape Town’s ‘information partner’, Die Burger is a reliable source of honest and unbiased fact, giving its readers’ the input they need to decide for themselves.”

I don’t think there will be too many people who will disagree with me if I stick my neck out here and suggest that the readers of Die Burger might well have formed their own opinion long before they glean any insights from the superior quality journalism therein. However, who am I to doubt someone the words of an individual who can create something as challenging as this treatment (“treatment”? -Ed) and is probably a thoroughly nice bloke?

I therefore plan to take my Google Translate in hand and do a quick overview of the honest and unbiased fact which Die Burger has given us on the Schabir Schaik saga. Once I’ve done that, I’ll report back (think Kwa-Zulu Natal Correction Services Medical Parole Appeals Board timescale).

Heavy Sacks

Posted on August 27, 2010August 27, 2010

Flicking through the Cape Times yesterday, I noticed a half-page ad for Cape Union Mart, the local camping, hiking and general outdoor sports suppliers. The ad in question (pictured here) detailed the wide variety of rucksacks which they sell, complete with stats on each and a brief blurb listing the features of the pack in question. All very handy, especially if you’re thinking about buying a new rucksack.

However, if you do find yourself in that situation, then might I advise you to read carefully and perhaps even try before you buy?
Because if you are planning trail running, mountain biking or a spot of climbing, then you might think that the Hydro Velocity 6 would be your pack of choice. Sure, it’s only got a capacity of 6 litres, but it is relatively cheap at R250 and it does have contoured shoulder straps for comfort. And they’re going to come in very handy, since it weighs 415kg.

Yes, it’s approaching half a metric ton, but it has got that mesh back for ventilation. And that’ll keep you nicely cool as you wait for the fire crew to try and get you out from under it.

But wait, in true Verimark style – there’s more.

What if you were planning a “short hiking trip” or some “general use”? You’re going to need something bigger than the pitiful Hydro Velocity 6 for that, right? Right.
Well, may I then suggest that you head for the R299 Ignite? At 28 litres, it’s got the capacity you need and features a detachable waist belt and a large main compartment. But don’t go putting anything too heavy in that large main compartment, because the backpack itself weighs an incredible 612kg before you’ve even started.

And that’s about the weight of a fairly large horse, which is probably why the ad doesn’t suggest that you try horse-riding while wearing it, because that would cripple your steed. And you.

Obviously, there’s nothing in the picture to scale the Ignite against, but based on the fact that at 28 litres, it’s just a small rucksack, I’m guessing that it must be made of something hugely heavy, like plutonium or something similar. Not brilliant healthwise perhaps, but the pale glow of the decaying atoms therein would certainly be handy to guide the fire crew in to rescue you from underneath it, should night have fallen while you were craning it from the back of your truck.

They can then take you to the nearest hospital to die from crush injuries and radiation poisoning.