Good news on literacy lavels

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Ok, so this has been doing the rounds here for a while already, but I’ve just been tardy in getting it onto the blog for the rest of the world to see.

There’s clearly great news when it comes to the recent achievements of South African learners in their exams this year:

Sadly, the people doing the captions at SABC News aren’t the South African learners of this year, and that’s why they’ve spelled “levels” incorrectly.

Now there’s a serious point to make here: I certainly don’t ridicule people because they don’t speak English well. It’s very likely that, with 11 official languages, it’s not their first language.

However, in an organisation as large as SABC News, there will be someone whose first language is English, and there should also be someone whose responsibility it is to make sure that whatever goes on screen is spelled correctly.

And therefore, it’s absolutely fine to take the piss and laugh at this really unfortunate error.

Pixie help in the wind

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I’m been an incredibly blowy day in Cape Town and the Western Cape. Sustained 60kph winds with gusts into the mid-80s. The Fire Danger Index was red for most everywhere, and that forecast has proven to be wholly accurate, with fires… well… most everywhere, as well.

I did see one guy “in the know” describe it as “a shit show”. Who am I to argue?

Of particular personal interest above, that one bottom right, which – although a long way from our little place at the Southern Tip – is threatening to head that way. [UPDATE: I’ve just heard that they’ve got it contained.] And also the big one right in the middle, just north-east of Paarl, which has been burning for 8 days now, right around the area where we stayed just before Christmas, including the Bains Kloof Pass, and has consumed an immense amount of land, and sadly, a good number of buildings.

I was trying to glue some stuff to some other stuff earlier, using volatile glue for gluing purposes, and some meths for cleaning purposes. Obviously, I tried to work outside: a well-ventilated area being important, but being on my own, and having no-one to hold the wood, the wind was actually ventilating too much, and playing havoc with my efforts. And so I had to go inside into my office. This was much better, because not only was everything not being blown around, but I was also suddenly joined by an army of helpful pixies who sang and danced as the work got done.

Wonderful stuff. And I really enjoyed the nap that inevitably followed, even if it was on the floor.

Anyway, the pixies might not have helped the firefighters, but the early arrival of the first rain in over two months might give them a hand. I’m back in my car park for the first time this year, and it’s actually rather wet. Ironically, they’re sprinkling water on the grass on the playing fields opposite me.

What’s coming from the sky is not exactly a deluge, but it’s certainly better than nothing, and it’s very welcome. Everywhere is… was… dirty and dusty. Cape Town needed a wash.

As I write, it’s raining heavily, the wind is still blowing and the sun is setting. Trash chickens being blown around in the bizarre sulphureous light, and… is that… is that another pixie?!?

Sprinkles around the mountain

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Stop the world. I want to get off.

I did mention the recent trend of people using TikTok to get their news, the utter nonsense that is on there, and the terrifying prospect of that nonsense influencing everyday life and – more worryingly – the upcoming election.

Here’s more evidence that reality and common sense is far distanced from that particular platform.

After the Table Mountain fire yesterday – and as an aside, I’m actually surprised that no-one has accused the water-bombing helicopters of spreading “chemtrials” yet – this genius idea:

Sprinkles? What? Like on a birthday cake?

But I’m guessing he means sprinklers. Like you use to water your garden. And stop it burning.

And in theory, it’s a great idea. Until you actual put a tiny, weeny, miniscule bit of thought into it.

Aside from the issues with water supply, infrastructure, the inevitable theft and the funding of the whole thing, there’s the sheer scale.

Table Mountain National Park is 221km2.
That’s twice the size of Manchester.

And if you’ve ever been to Manchester, you might know that there are (more than) a couple of football pitches there. And each of them requires about 10 sprinkles… sprinklers… to keep them moist and stop them burning.

Working on the basis that a football pitch is about 100x50m, and therefore has an area of 0.005km2, we can do a quick rudimentary calculation and say that Table Mountain National Park is the same area as 44,200 football pitches, and would therefore require close on half a million “sprinkles” to cover it.

So, there you go.

Why don’t they put water sprinkles around the mountain? Because it’s a frankly ridiculous idea, and if you had a brain, you’d have worked that out pretty quickly.

So I wonder what stopped that happening?

YBTPR – 6Music session

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As heard this morning on Radcliffe & Maconie. A beautiful, acoustic version of a beautiful song.

This recorded for 6Music back in July 2002, I believe. I saw The Flaming Lips twice the following year: once at Glastonbury, and then once later in the year (November, Google tells me) at the Hammersmith Apollo, where he began the gig with 7 Nation Army and ended it with White Christmas delivered through a loudhailer.

Halcyon days.

Weirdly, on that second occasion, Wayne Coyne told us it was the biggest audience he’d ever played in front of. He must have been as high as a kite to have forgotten the 90,000+ in front of the Pyramid Stage just a few months before.

It’s all ok

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It’s been a long and rather emotional 24 hours, but as the old adage goes, All’s well that ends well.

And things do seem to have at least worked themselves out in that respect.

There’s probably just time for a bit of tasty FA Cup action before bed.

Probably.