Stop the world. I want to get off.
I did mention the recent trend of people using TikTok to get their news, the utter nonsense that is on there, and the terrifying prospect of that nonsense influencing everyday life and – more worryingly – the upcoming election.
Here’s more evidence that reality and common sense is far distanced from that particular platform.
After the Table Mountain fire yesterday – and as an aside, I’m actually surprised that no-one has accused the water-bombing helicopters of spreading “chemtrials” yet – this genius idea:
Sprinkles? What? Like on a birthday cake?
But I’m guessing he means sprinklers. Like you use to water your garden. And stop it burning.
And in theory, it’s a great idea. Until you actual put a tiny, weeny, miniscule bit of thought into it.
Aside from the issues with water supply, infrastructure, the inevitable theft and the funding of the whole thing, there’s the sheer scale.
Table Mountain National Park is 221km2.
That’s twice the size of Manchester.
And if you’ve ever been to Manchester, you might know that there are (more than) a couple of football pitches there. And each of them requires about 10 sprinkles… sprinklers… to keep them moist and stop them burning.
Working on the basis that a football pitch is about 100x50m, and therefore has an area of 0.005km2, we can do a quick rudimentary calculation and say that Table Mountain National Park is the same area as 44,200 football pitches, and would therefore require close on half a million “sprinkles” to cover it.
So, there you go.
Why don’t they put water sprinkles around the mountain? Because it’s a frankly ridiculous idea, and if you had a brain, you’d have worked that out pretty quickly.
So I wonder what stopped that happening?