Category: this is south africa

Chris Moerdyk’s list of selfish bastards includes Chris Moerdyk

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Chris Moerdyk has finally had it with the selfish bastards who don’t pay their taxes and cut red lights and talk on their cellphones while driving and get behind the wheel after one too many.

And that includes him:

But then, it suddenly dawned on me that if Colin didn’t pay his taxes, government would hardly just say “oh, well we have just made a bit of a loss, let’s take it on the chin and move on.”  What government would most certainly say is: “OK, now where can we make up that shortfall?”
And they would simply get more tax from those poor sods, who unlike Colin, have PAYE deducted from their pay-packets and don’t have the choice of paying or not paying their taxes.

So, I thought “Colin, you selfish bastard.”

I spent another hour pacing up and down my study thinking about all the other selfish bastards there were whose actions cause, or could cause, innocent people so much grief and trauma.

Then it occurred to be that I am also a selfish bastard.

But, I am going to stop.

I really don’t want anyone to be able to point at me and call me a selfish bastard for killing their child/uncle/wife/grandfather/dog. That’s the sort of thing that ruins your life forever. And all for the sake on a drink or a cellphone conversation. Logic tells me it’s actually not worth it. I have also just discovered by the way, that non-alcoholic cocktails actually taste exactly the same as those with alcohol in them.
The only difference is one doesn’t turn you into a selfish bastard.

Wise words indeed, and it stuck me that Chris’ epiphany was probably prompted by a quick read of this post from last week.

I applaud him for his bold stance but note that 90% of the comments are based on the dangers of drink driving, despite the fact we have been told that cell use “is probably six times more dangerous than driving drunk”.

That message is still not getting through. That social stigma is still not there.
There are still too many selfish bastards out there, although according to Chris, there’s one fewer now.

Don’t you hate those last line “less/fewer” issues?

Motoring news

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I’m not into cars, but I do drive one and so I like to keep abreast of motoring news when it makes the papers. Also, this first story means that when that awkward “What does OSOD stand for?” question comes up at the next pub quiz, I’ll be able to answer correctly and win some beer.

I pass through OSOD systems on my way to and from work each day, and now the Western Cape traffic department is making a really big OSOD outside Beaufort West as the SABC incorrectly report:

The Western Cape Department of Transport has launched the Average Speed Over Distance (OSOD) pilot project in Beaufort West in the Central Karoo. The multi-million rand system has the long range capability to trap and monitor 71.6 kilometres of road. The busy stretch of road on the R-61, links the Eastern Cape to the Western Cape.

The OSOD project is not only the first for South Africa, but a first for the world. The camera covers 71.6 kilometres of the R61 between Aberdeen and Beaufort West. The road carries a lot of traffic from the Eastern Cape into the Western Cape and is notorious for speedsters and tragic accidents.

Western Cape Transport MEC, Robin Carlisle:

“The R61 is a very narrow straight road. and it probably has the highest fatality figure when compared to the number of vehicles it uses of any road in the province. It also is for us the beginning of the major long distance taxi route that comes from the Eastern Cape through Aberdeen, Buford West and then Cape Town. So it’s the perfect one to start on.”

Apparently, the section on the M5 has been very profitable effective at reducing speeding between Kromboom and Wetton. Presumably this 71.6km stretch of road will be equally fruitful.

Sticking with exciting(?) and informative South African motoring news, here’s a bit of advice for you: Never crash into a tree full of bees.
Sadly, this helpful tip comes ever so slightly late for one unfortunate Mbombela resident who crashed into a tree full of bees this past weekend:

An Mbombela man was in a critical condition yesterday after a swarm of bees stung him when his car crashed into a tree containing a bee hive, paramedics said.
ER24 spokesman Derrick Banks said the man – an on-duty security guard in his late twenties or early thirties – was attacked while travelling on the Belladona Plant road at around 5.30am.

The man lost control of his vehicle, which crashed into a tree and dislodged the bee hive, which, in turn, sent “hundreds of bees into the air. The guard started to be stung straight away while still in his vehicle.”

Banks said the man managed to run to a nearby river and lay face down in the water in an attempt to keep the bees away from his face.

We at 6000 miles… would also like to take this opportunity to point out that lying face down in water may also be hazardous to your health.

First person to quote Eddie Izzard gets a lifetime ban from the site. You know who you are. Both of you.

Visiting your local city market this weekend?

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Like this one or this one or this one or this one or this one
or this one or this one or this one or this one or this one?

After all, they’re all so individual, aren’t they? *cough*

But why not? Or rather – why?

We believe that, in spending ludicrous sums on this wonderful food, we are making a stand against The Man. We are turning our faces against the supermarkets, promoting true agriculture, supporting a way of life that is in danger of being lost.
There is a technical term for all this: bollocks.

So says Jay Rayner.

But that aside, really why not? After all, the produce is superb and… er… “authentic”:

There’s ostrich steaks, smoked venison,
And eggs with sh*t and feathers on,
There’s cauliflowers with gritty bits in between…

At the Market, the Farmers’ Market,
I drive my Volvo there and then I park it.
At the Market, the Farmers’ Market,
I find any old crap and sell it in a basket.

Some Friday smiles with this brilliance from the Armstrong and Miller Show.
You’d be well advised to watch it all the way through for the twist in the tail.

Got to love the odd cameo appearance, right?

AXE Press Release

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I don’t normally do these, but this one is neat and I’m still riled from yesterday’s post:

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION
27 October 2011

AXE Apology For “Fallen Angels” Advert

On the 26th October, the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) passed a ruling upholding a consumer complaint against our latest TV advert and ordered the commercial pulled from the air. The advert, showing Angels succumbing to the seductive smell of our new fragrance, AXE Excite, and falling to earth to pursue the great smelling AXE Man, was part of a global campaign and has been received with great enthusiasm around the world. The Angels have made quite an impact in South Africa, and popular news, content and social media portals were quick to report on the ruling.

AXE South Africa respects the ASA’s decision and apologises to any consumers who may have been offended by the advert. That was never our intention. The advert has been duly removed from mass broadcast and we have resorted to showcasing some international versions of the advert on our private brand channels, including www.facebook.com/axesouthafrica, where consumers opt-in for the type of tongue-in-cheek, sexy and sometimes edgy content AXE is known for.

As a show of good faith to those concerned, we have also made sure the seriousness of the matter is understood by our Angels, who will from now on try their very best to resist the seductive powers of The AXE Effect. To those AXE Men who have used, and who are continuing to use AXE Excite in the hope of seducing Angels, please note – whilst there is no individual danger of disciplinary action from the ASA, the Angels have been known to come in at quite a speed, and the use of AXE Excite is completely at your own risk.

Nice work from www.gorillacreativemedia.com

ASAholes…

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While all and sundry are getting their knickers in a knot over the words printed on T-shirts, here’s a story that might have almost slipped under your radar.
File this one under “They’re not serious, right?”

Sadly, it seems that they are:

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) has instructed a TV advert depicting angels falling from heaven because they are attracted to a man’s deodorant, to be withdrawn, as it could offend Christians.

A viewer who complained to the ASA about the advert said the suggestion that angels (God’s messengers) would literally fall for a man wearing this deodorant was incompatible with his belief as a Christian, according to the ruling by the ASA’s directorate made on October 14. A copy of the ruling was sent to Sapa.

The advert for Axe deodorant depicts winged, attractive women crashing to earth in what appears to be an Italian town, and then being drawn towards and sniffing a young man who has used the deodorant. The text at the end of the ad reads: “Even angels will fall”.

Oh dear. Can I say that this decision is incompatible with my belief as an Atheist? Probably not, since that seems to count for very little. But it is incompatible. Wholly incompatible.
And this incompatibility is made worse by the detail given for the ASA descision to ban the ad:

The directorate was concerned that the angels were depicted falling and, secondly, being attracted to a mortal man.

“As such, the problem is not so much that angels are used in the commercial, but rather that the angels are seen to forfeit, or perhaps forego their heavenly status for mortal desires. This is something that would likely offend Christians in the same manner as it offended the complainant.”

Firstly, since when has there ever been a problem with individuals falling in adverts? Are we now going to ban all ads which depict falling of any kind? The baby landing bum first on the bog roll? The woman parachuting despite it being “that time of the month”? Absolutely anything and everything for Elastoplast?

These are angels, for crying out loud. They’ll be fine, because – like the ASA point out – they’re immortal, see? Yep: in this ruling, the ASA has drawn a distinction between angels and their “heavenly status” and us mere mortals. In essence, they are suggesting that they believe that angels exist and that those angels have heavenly status, which they infer, confers immortality. Er… Halo?!?!

That single complainant, of course, is well within his rights to be offended and to complain. However, I do find it strange that despite this advert flighting across much of (predominantly Christian) Europe and the (predominantly Christian) United States, together with a host of add-ons such as the amazing augmented reality stunt at Victoria station, that he is the only Christian to be offended by this. As far as I can see, there have been no other instances of any part of this campaign being banned anywhere else in the world.
Even in the “nanny state” UK or the “sue now, ask questions later” US: no ban.

Could it then be that it is the complainant that is being over-sensitive rather than the advert that is being potentially offensive?

However, this is what we are going to have to accept going forward. When people choose to be offended at the slightest thing, the slightest thing becomes offensive.
Foschini group are taking t-shirts off shelves because a few loud people disagree with the wording on the front.
But does the juvenile legend “I put the STD in STUD – all I need is U”, really imply that the wearer is going to go all out to try and contract herpes virus from everyone he sees in an effort to appear more manly? Do you honestly believe that?
Do you think that when I wear a Nike t-shirt, I’m constantly Just Doing “It”, whatever “It” may be? Really?

I don’t envy the ASA, walking the fine line between the normal population and the often unnecessarily mouthy minorities. But when they make decisions like this one, they provide ammunition and impetus for more trivial complaints and they’re on a slippery slope.