IF YOU LIVED HERE…

I’m no expert at house marketing. I know some people who are, but they’re not me. I saw some house marketing while I was sitting in the traffic this morning, and it confused me.
I may be no expert at house marketing, but logic is one of my stronger points, which is why it confused me.

Obviously having spotted the long queues of stationary traffic outside the property each morning, agent Anton du Plessis has apparently aimed his ad at those already weary drivers, but does it really make sense?

IF YOU LIVED HERE YOU’D BE AT WORK ALREADY

he shouts.

Well, maybe, but since I am here, reading your house marketing sign, I’d only actually be at work already if I worked here.
And that’s a bit of an assumption, Anton.

Are you suggesting that this is like a work-from-home thing (even though I don’t live here)?
Are you trying to tell me in some cryptic way that this property has an office, Anton?
It seems a bit over the top to advertise a home office that way. After all, you can just convert any bedroom into an office by removing the bed and replacing it with a desk. (I saw something similar done on Grand Designs once.)

Or is this perhaps a very niche Public Service Announcement aimed at people who do actually work here? Although, since they are here, and therefore at work, they had probably worked it out already. I hope they have business zoning for the property.

I can’t actually believe that you’re suggesting that anyone living here is constantly being at work, already.
No-one wants that. That’s not a good way to sell a house.

I’m confused. Buy this house and be at work. Already. What?