It’s all lies – the myth of the unripe nectarines

Never believe a thing they tell you.

It all began when the buyer, new to the job, went out to the nectarine farms. His inexperience was quickly detected by the evil nectarine farmers who had barns filled with dud fruit.
They’re not ripe, they’ll never be ripe.
But the buyer didn’t know that. He’ll take the lot, please.
Here’s the fat cheque – put them on the back of the lorries.

Once back at the warehouse, the managers were aghast: money down the drain – we can’t sell unripe nectarines. In this terrible financial climate as well. We’re for the chop once Mr Woolworth hears of this. If only there was some way out. But there isn’t.


It’s brilliant. And we’ll put “KEEP REFRIGERATED” on them right underneath the bit where we say “will ripen in 2-3 days at room temperature”. Confusion will reign.
And before anyone knows what’s going on, we’ll have sold the whole lot and the customers will only have themselves to blame for believing us and keeping them in the fridge.
Or not keeping them in the fridge. Whatever.
It’s a win-win situation. Unless they want to eat the nectarines.
Which they won’t, because they’ll never get ripe.


5 thoughts on “It’s all lies – the myth of the unripe nectarines

  1. My superior mind decodes the message as: once ripened at room temperature, then refrigerate. But I wouldn’t expect you average plebs to get that, shame man, must be so confusing for you guys 😉
    .-= po´s last blog ..Dearheart =-.

  2. Po > Too complicated. This is the company that says that its peanuts are produced in a factory which produces nuts.

    Pamela > And to make easy money for hard fruit.

    HH > It’s near Brakpan. Possibly.

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