Obviously, I was only passing by the Ricoffy section on my way to the real coffee section. For those of you who are unaware of what the product entails, it’s basically granulated ditchwater. It’s bloody awful.
And now they can’t make it anymore, though quite what the “erratic supply of coffee” has to do with this is beyond me. I never realised that coffee was involved in the manufacture of Ricoffy.
But then I looked again. And I read more carefully. And they’re only halting the manufacture of the 500g products. How bizarre.
Will this really affect the average Ricoffy consumer? Did it really warrant a SORRY with two exclamation marks? Surely one could always share a couple of 750g tins with two other people? Or if you’re more independently minded, just double up on 250g jars. Apparently, Ricoffy 100g will be produced in very limited quantities – namely 100g – so five of them would work nicely as well.
But the smart choice is still to buy none of any of them.
However, at about 1745 this evening, I was at a local supermarket. Things were going well. Alex had enjoyed the journey there, boogie’ing away in his car seat to the energetic (yet somewhat inappropriate) Smack My Bitch Up by the Prodigy* and was now happily sat in the trolley, nibbling a chunk of biltong. Life was good.
And then – down the snacks aisle, right next to the puffs, this:
I have to admit, this was a new one on me. We’ve had shortages of oil here, which led to shortages of petrol and widespread panic buying. Been there, done that back in the UK. We had a lack of glass that almost meant they couldn’t make beer bottles. That was very worrying. We even ran out of carbon dioxide (yes, really!) which led to a scarcity of fizzy beverages. We soldiered on through (though strangely, Seth Rotherham seemed irrationally alarmed by the news of a Coke shortage).
But a shortage of chips really is a true cause for concern.
Immediately, I thought this must be a callous marketing ploy by the supermarket in question in order to raise the price of any available chips by preying on the minds of innocent chip-purchasing shoppers. There was only one way to find out – the leaders in South African potato news and information: Potatoes South Africa. It’s where we all get our potato-related information over here. Sample quote:
They may not be celebrities, but potatoes certainly get their share of media attention. Read about how potatoes are profiled in the press, the news they generate by just being themselves, and who to contact for more information if you are one of our media friends.
I may have missed something here. Not that I’m a big reader, but are the pages of Hello, OK and the pisspoor South African You/HuisGenoot really packed full with our starchy friends sunbathing on foreign beaches, partying with some European royal or flashing their bits as they exit a sports car? Can a potato really generate news by “just being itself”?
Anyway, I digress. Back to the great Cape Town potato shortage. It seems that the hastily-printed fluttering A4 warnings were all true. Not a single potato arrived in Cape Town today. Just look at that terrifyingly empty CPT column. Even SPG got more than us. SPG**, of all places!!!
It’s going to be a long, cold, chipless winter***. I fear that increasing my beer consumption may be the only way to keep my carbohydate levels up.
Oh well. Needs must.
* 6000 miles… does not advocate smacking your (or anyone else’s) bitch up. ** No, I have no clue. Sorry. *** Once we’re through our long, hot, chipless summer and long, mild, chipless autumn, obviously.