I’m going away this weekend and you know that because I’ve just told you, but apparently, the government will know that because I have the Covid tracker app on my phone.
“OMG!”
(some of) the nation cried.
“They want to track our every move.
They want to know where we go, what we do, who we meet, when we poo.
THEY WANT TO STALK US!”
Wow. How utterly dramatic and ridiculous and desperate.
(I’m talking about the people, not the government.)
Yep. Because if the government really wanted to stalk you, they’d probably just look at the data from your registered SIM card. So I guess that the fact that you haven’t been spirited away by clandestine extrajudicial forces just yet can only mean one of two things. Either they’re not actually tracking you after all, or they are tracking you but you’re so f____g dull and unimportant that they actually don’t give a toss what you do or where you go.
But there are other options for the SA spies and the CIA and Mossad and MI5.
Maybe they could look at your Instagram with the pictures of your car and your daughter all over it.
Maybe they could wander onto your Facebook or your Youtube or your Twitter profiles and extract information from there.
What about your licenced car(s)? Your firearm? Your ID book? Your driving licence? Your house insurance? Your GPS tracker on your vehicle?
What about your municipal rates bills? Your bank accounts? Your medical aid?
All that valuable – and often public – information about you, your life and your family so readily available, and yet there you are still living free and easy, almost as if the government doesn’t actually give a flying f__k what you’re doing.
But yeah, sure: they’re going use the information from the bluetooth on your phone to find you when you’re planning a coup d’etat going to Pick n Pay or playing with your kid in the local park, and fling you into Pollsmoor.