Great news on funding for the Notting Hill Carnival.
A whole pound. I’m sure that will make all the difference with those “critical public safety concerns”.
Don’t spend it all at once.
It reminded me of the story when this guy missed his jugular vein by “just” 1m.
I don’t know if it was meant to be a centimetre or a millimetre, but either way, it’s clearly not much of a story if it’s a metre, given that that is pretty much the distance from your neck at which chainsaws routinely operate.
Just like I’m not sure if that’s actually a million pounds above, but it certainly would be a story if they’d saved the Notting Hill Carnival by finding £1 of extra funding.
Of course, there’s a bit of a more serious issue here: the continuing slide in standards of journalism.
Things are getting (more) dangerous in Scotland. And by things, I mean Seagull Attacks. So much so, that now politicians there are calling for a summit to discuss the issue.
See?
How will this help? Will the seagulls be attending? And if so, will they agree to cease their ever more terrifying acts of violent assault on Scottish people – especially the children?
Yes. Exactly. Because they are the ones that are being attacked:
Ms Hamilton said “aggressive” seagulls had attacked seven children in one month last year in Eyemouth, leaving one girl “with gashes to her scalp and blood running down her face”.
Thankfully, this was in the town of Eyemouth and not Carotidartery. Maybe choose to live somewhere that doesn’t give them ideas.
And it’s no wonder that people are scared when you look at the size of the gulls in the article above.
That one is almost as big as a church. And that would be terrifying if it came after you. Although this church (and presumably the massive seagull) are on the West coast of Scotland (in Largs), while Eyemouth in on the East coast. But I do think that I remember reading once that seagulls can fly, so I don’t think that you’re 100% safe even with that geographical assistance.
Anyway, it’s clearly something that NatureScot – the Scottish Nature people responsible for licensing control of the birds and… er… also conserving them – need to sort out. The MPs aren’t happy about their efforts so far:
The behaviour of the SNP’s quango NatureScot confirms they have lost the plot. They have told people to protect themselves with umbrellas and even suggested dogs as a deterrent.
Umbrellas for the birds attacking from above, dogs for the assaults from ground level, I presume. It really wouldn’t work any other way, right?
The strength of the cross-party support in my debate today should be all the SNP government need to finally act before we see someone killed due to being attacked by a gull.
It’s not clear (to me, at least) how exactly this would occur. Unless the gulls are carrying knives and guns now. And the victim is umbrella and dogless. In which case they were asking for trouble, anyway.
Our seagulls in Cape Town are nowhere near as big or aggressive as these Scottish monsters. Although I would still advise you to take an umbrella down to the Waterfront if you’re headed there this weekend.
United have a first round Carabao Cup tie away at Birmingham City.
And we described it on our website as:
Tip?
Interesting example. Anyway…
Look. I’m thinking that whoever did the title meant “trip”, but also that they had – at some point – visited Birmingham, and thus their subconscious took control of their typing fingers.
Hard to argue with it, though. I wouldn’t edit this at all.
Is it just us – and, to be fair, those surrounding us – who are coming to the conclusion that 2025 is actually a bit crap?
Of course, all years have their ups and their downs, but this one does seem to be continually choosing the crappy option each and every time it gets the chance.
I don’t want to go into details, because that wouldn’t do any good anyway, but there have been quite a lot of things that just could have gone much better. And a seemingly equal number that would have been much better if they just hadn’t happened.
Several examples of each have been mentioned on here.
I try hard to be a glass half full kind of guy, but it’s getting more and more difficult to repeatedly try and ignore the apparent vendetta that 2025 clearly has against us.
Even the simplest things seem to have it in for us.
And just when I thought that it might get better in the second half of the year: a fresh start and all that…
WWIII is about to enter the chat.
Thanks, Donald.
Still, other than those issues (which unfortunately is just about everything), we’re just about surviving.
Right. A proper mess of weather over Cape Town today. Sunshine, wild winds, glowering clouds and heavy showers. And it looks like things are only going downhill this afternoon.
I’m catching up on jobs which have been waiting since we went away, and getting things ticked off the various lists, but I’m going to run out of time very shortly, and that means getting this post out now.
It’s all a bit rushed, and I feel quite out of touch with what’s going on in the world. But then, when I do hear about what’s going on in the world, that actually seems like quite a good way to be.
Running out of time because we’re going out to a posh dinner this evening (I actually have very little idea about just how posh the dinner thing is, and so I am only going by the price). A winery invited to a restaurant, and the chef of that restaurant cooking up a special pairing menu to go with the wines from the winery. What’s not to like?
I’ve never heard of the winery or the restaurant before, but I have checked, and yes, both of them do exist – and the event is a sellout – so I’m sure it will be pretty good.
Yes, I may have to knock back a couple of Red Bulls or cheap local equivalents thereof in order to make it through to the starters, but once those kick in, I’ll be the life and soul of the party (T&Cs apply).
And there are calls for a lie-in tomorrow morning, which will surely assist in tomorrow night’s dinner (which I only know is “with friends”, not where or when) being an equally successful evening. Should we braai? We might braai.
Anyway.
Right now, I’m on the dash home and then off to do the drop off at horse riding (not me) before I jump in the car down to the Deep South for tonight’s fun and games.
