Incoming from the PM

Imagine my surprise:


I am The Rt Hon David Cameron MP,Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service British Government. This letter is to officially inform you that (ATM Card Number 7302 7168 0041 0640) has been accredited with your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is [removed]. The VISA Card Value is £2,000,000.00 (Two Million, Great British Pounds Sterling).

This office will send to you an Visa/ATM CARD that you will use to withdraw your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or Visa card outlet in the world with a maximum of £35,000 GBP daily. Further more,You will be required to re-confirm the following information to enable; The Rt Hon William Hague MP First Secretary of State for British Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs. begin in processing of your VISA CARD.
(1)Full names: (2)Address: (3)Country: (4)Nationality: (5)Phone #: (6)Age: (7)Occupation: (8) Post Codes Rt Hon William Hague MP.
First Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Email; [email protected]
Tel: +447405277051

TAKE NOTICE: That you are warned to stop further communications with any other person(s) or office(s) different from the staff of the State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to avoid hitches in receiving your payment.

Yes. David Cameron has taken over as Prime Minister and he’s got cash to burn. Never before has Dave seen quite so much wonga in one place (under the mattress in the spare room at No.10) and he’s having an unusually socialist moment with his mate William Hague distributing it among the masses. Of course, it would be a bit obvious if they were to do it via their official government emails – Nick Clegg might find out – so Hague has cleverly got himself a freebie account.
It’s genius.

People said that this coalition government would be bad for the nation, but if this early offer is anything to go by, I’m in for a great 5 years. Who knows how often Dave and Will will throw another couple of million in my direction? I’ve done some rudimentary calculations and I reckon that this first lump sum would be enough to keep me in the manner to which I will become accustomed (at R400,000 per day) for about 2 months.

It’s worth noting that I never got a penny from Tony Bliar and Gorgon Brown in their 13 disastrous years “in charge”.
This is a welcome and promising new dawn for British politics. And for my bank account.