Bill Bailey sums up the voters’ options in The Times [paywalled] today. I love the descriptiveness:
With the polls narrowing and apathy rife, the comedian Bill Bailey gave floating voters a general election rundown during a work-in-progress show that is on in the West End until May 9.
The only trace of the Lib Dems after 2015 will be “a bunch of flowers taped to some railings”, he explained. Ukip are a troupe of “sozzled berks” whose only policies are an electrified fence at Dover and “no women in the bar area”, while David Cameron is a “congealed, laminated weasel”. As for Ed Miliband, “he is like a plastic bag caught in a tree. No one knows how he got up there and no one can be bothered to get him down.”
Given those choices, I can’t see that apathy diminishing any time soon.