And the weirdest football report ever?
There was drama last night at the Stade Geoffroy-Guichard in Saint-Étienne, in the Olympics, which have started even though they haven’t started yet.
It happened in the football, where a last minute equaliser – in the 16th minute of injury time! – from Argentina sparked a pitch invasion from the Morocco fans, including some Groucho Marx impersonators…
…and the players were taken off while the fans were cleared from the pitch.
This took quite a while, as Argentinian coach Javier Mascherano notes:
I can’t explain what happened. We spent about an hour and a half in the dressing room where they never told us what was going to happen. The Moroccan captains didn’t want to play, we didn’t want to continue, and fans threw things at us. It’s the biggest circus I’ve ever seen in my life.
And he used to play at clown club West Ham United, so you know it was bad.
Amazingly, after almost 2 hours, the goal which had sparked all the protests was ruled out in what must be the longest VAR decision (yet), meaning that the score was still 2-1 to Morocco, but that there was still some time to play.
The players were brought back out into the – now empty – stadium, where Morocco successfully kept a clean sheet for 3 minutes and were awarded the win.
That Guardian report I linked to above just shows how chaotic things were, with the actual URL reading like the goal wasn’t disallowed:
…the story obviously having been updated a little later.
Still, that’s better than the AP version of events,
The game was broadcast in cafes throughout Morocco, where national pride has swelled since the country advanced to the semifinal in the 2022 World Cup. During a record-breaking heat wave, tea-drinking men screamed at televisions and watched in shock as fans stormed the field.
Screaming tea-drinking men are bad enough, but screaming tea-drinking men during a record-breaking heat wave? Terrifying.
And where did they get these quotes?
Zak Eddakir, a 28 year-old from Rabat, said the fans’ reaction had to do with soccer’s importance in Morocco and a natural disappointment at a draw and the idea that a referee’s call could end a game.
What are you on about, Zak? The referee’s call always ends the game. The whistle thing, remember? That’s one of their key jobs. Otherwise games would literally never end. I know it might have felt like this one went on a bit, but if the referee hadn’t been there to make the final call, we’d still be watching.
And then, this:
Hairdresser Khadija Seffany streamed into the street to embrace her friends and neighbors after Morocco won.
Wut? How does an individual stream into a street? Is she wholly fluid? I know we’re made up of 70% water, but there are surely still some very unstreamable bits in a hairdresser. Bones, for a start, are notoriously solid and very poor at streaming.
She initially thought the delay in calling the goal offside suggested the referees wanted Argentina to win because Morocco is an Arab country.
No. The delay came because the Moroccan fans invaded the pitch. Were you not watching before you streamed onto the street?
And where on earth did you get that “the referees wanted Argentina to win because Morocco is an Arab country” thing from? Talk about desperate victim tactics.
This sounds a bit like something a Liverpool fan might say. (Sorry, TA.)
Does this ridiculous suggestion perhaps stem from the infamous Libya v Tunisia game last year in which both teams lost simply because they were Arab countries?
If so, I do kind of get it.
But then, since I just made that game up, you’re being daft.
Was it a different referees [sic] that disallowed the Argentinian goal, then? Presumably because something something Hispanic something? Ugh. Honestly, just go and flow back into your salon.
(Ironically, in the other game in this group, Iraq beat Ukraine.)
(With no pitch invasion required.)
(You work out the ethnicities.)
But there is one final word from the hydrous football expert Khadija before we go, and given her previous form, I’m expecting it to be an absolute banger…
Every match throughout the Olympics will be important.
Wow. World shattering stuff right there.
Stick to hairdressing, please.
Honestly, I don’t particularly like Argentina – not least because of this – but I would love to see Morocco chucked out of the competition because of their fans’ behaviour. Zak’s excuse about “natural disappointment at a draw” just sounds like Moroccans are bad losers… draw-ers?… and doesn’t really do a lot for me. Are we going to see this every time one of their athletes or teams loses?