Day 679 – Pittsburgh Pepper Pitcher

Spotted in Pittsburgh. (Not by me.) (And I fear that there may be many more questions than answers here, but let’s do this anyway.)

Right. Spotted in Pittsburgh, this:

“Who does it?” asks the poster putter. And it’s a very reasonable question. Who is flinging peppers down his chimney each evening? And why?

And how? Well, actually we know that from the helpful diagram supplied.
I’m amazed that you don’t hear the sound of several crashing peppers and some muffled swearing each time before your fireplace gift arrives, though. That’s some aim to hit first time, every time.

But then, those aren’t the only questions raised here. “I worship the lord and have never made an enemy” is clearly not quite correct for at least two reasons. And I’m not even counting the rookie error of the lower case “l” at the front of “lord”. As any fule kno, all the major deities are quite insistent about the capitalisation of their nomenclature.

But “I… have never made an enemy” doesn’t square well with the fact that some random bloke is lobbing capsicums bearing the legend “I HATE YOU” into your house each night. Your friends and acquaintances don’t tell you “I HATE YOU”, it’s generally the enemies that do that. Not often on peppers, but… whatever.

And then that weird threat down at the bottom. No, not the talking about it bit: that might be quite threatening if you have any sort of social anxiety…

Pin on LOL

…but I was talking about the box above that.

“Christ… has harmed people for me”? Who were these people and why did He [well done with the H – Ed.] harm them? Could they have been… perhaps… enemies of yours? No. Because you’ve never made an enemy. But what if you were born with an enemy? Does that count? And would the people know that Christ had harmed them, or was it well disguised as an accident? And if it was disguised that way, do you think that they would alter their behaviour towards you simply because they had a minor prang in their car or caught their finger on a rose prickle? (It’s not a thorn.) How would they associate that with their veggie-flinging (or other) campaign against you? Why were they hurling the veg in the first place?

Were they even chucking salad?
Who knows? I told you that there wouldn’t be many answers here.

Pittsburgh is weird.