Multiple reports of bewildered local citizens are coming in this morning, as Cape Town awoke to a strange yellow ball hovering in the sky.
Some individuals claimed that they had witnessed this phenomenon previously, but when pressed, couldn’t really remember when.
Others, like Kevin van der Tinfoil from Tamboerskloof, are convinced that it represented some sort of alien activity:
It’s like nothing I’ve seen before, so it’s almost certainly aliens trying to communicate with us. What else could make a light so bright?
It’s aliens.
And that brightness was something others noticed, too. Sinethemba Ilanga from Pinelands was admitted to the Cape Town Eye Hospital after staring at the ball for “at least 20 minutes”.
I literally had never seen anything like it before, and now I literally can’t see anything at all.
Denise Argument from Brackenfell was terrified by a “dark reflection” on the ground next to her:
It’s been following me around all day. It’s terrifying. It mocks me by instantly copying all my movements. It could be an evil spirit or a message from God, but my friend Kevin says it’s aliens.
So it’s probably aliens.
The City Council has moved to bring scientists in to investigate just what the mysterious object was, but it had disappeared before they arrived, and is not expected to be seen for at least another month.