ISTOTBIDMPD (explanatory link)
Nigel lived for years on his own on uninhabited Mana Island off the north of the country, surrounded by concrete replica gannets.
It’s probably worth noting at this point that Nigel himself was actually also a gannet. The concrete replica gannets with whom he shared the final 5 years of his life were placed there in 2013 to attract other (real-life) gannets (like this puffin project in the Isle of Man).
They only attracted Nigel.
The gannet was observed carefully constructing a nest for his chosen mate, grooming her chilly, concrete feathers, and chatting to her – one-sided – year after year after year.
This sounds remarkably like my efforts in Madison nightclub in Newcastle, every Monday (student night) between 1992 and 1995.
We’ve all been there, mate.
Sadly, Nigel died alone, although there is hope in the fact that three real-life, flesh and blood, absolutely not concrete gannets arrived on Mana Island just before Nigel shuffled off this mortal coil and joined the choir invisible.
What a sad, sad story.
Hamba kahle, Nigel. Thank you for your efforts.