Ivo backs me, rubbishes Christine’s Brilliant Idea

The eagerly-awaited “fracking the Karoo” column from Daily Maverick “Opinionista” Ivo Vegter has finally arrived, bringing with it further discussion of the dubious brainwashing tactics used by the anti-frackers (Lewis Pugh, TKAG et al). It’s nice to see that Ivo has finally jumped on-board with 6000 miles… after our previous differerences over… well… everything, really. And although he doesn’t actually mention this site in his column, you can tell he’s read it and then put it in much more technical (read: better) English.

Lewis Pugh was rousing. He invoked Mandela and Gandhi and the brave people who fought and died for freedom. The propaganda was spectacular and alarming. There would be war over water, he warned, if we permit Shell to prospect for shale gas in the Karoo.

This is about our children’s future, and that of our children’s children, he preached. Shell is proposing to destroy our environment, he said, launching into stirring rhetoric about the ravages of global warming. Then he invoked the political tyrants being toppled in north Africa, and deftly juxtaposed “corporate tyranny” as if it’s the same thing.

It was grand oratory, concluding in Churchillian fashion with a call to arms and a vow to fight on, so “good will triumph over evil”. Yes, he actually used those words.

It was a slick performance, full of emotive appeal and rhetorical hyperbole. Dutifully, the mainstream media – whose sympathies I may have mentioned before –cheered this green David, standing up against the corporate Goliath.

But just because a little guy is facing up to a big guy doesn’t make the little guy right.

Ivo quotes from several apparently pro-fracking papers, reports and article, which I have not had time to read (remember kids, this is his job, it’s merely my pastime). But the gist is that the main opposition to fracking in the Karoo is flawed by being based on incorrect information, poor data and/or downright untruths. Still, this opposition is cleverly presented as fact with a huge helping of emotion on a sideplate, and is then dutifully lapped up and regurgitated by their supporters.

But while Ivo might agree with me:

One keeps hearing how Big Oil lobbyists are evil spinmeisters and insidious manipulators of public opinion. Don’t forget that Big Green lobbyists can deceive the public with the best of them.

he pours scorn upon Christine’s Brilliant Idea™ – as documented yesterday on this blog.

Oh, and one other thing. Ditch the word “fracking”. It is a barbarous bastardisation of a perfectly good English term. Using it has only one purpose: spin.

It is designed to make people who don’t know better fear a perfectly ordinary industrial technique that has been in used safely and successfully around the world for many decades. It permits cute, but crude, phrases like “Fracking up the Karoo”. It should be beneath any self-respecting journalist.

Christine will surely be heartbroken.

Me? I’m off to try and find a “self-respecting journalist”. hahahaha!

Dead again

Today’s link of the day is Ivo Vegter’s advice on How to Hire a Hitman in SA, which is chock full of Ben Trovatoisms (the column, not the country) (although…).

We once tried to count our murders, because we thought a Guinness World Record would be cool, but we couldn’t find anyone who’d passed mathematics on higher grade since the end of British rule. So we hired an expert who used to count broken windows for Rudi Giuliani. He put all our crime into the only government computer that works – a Panda AT/286 donated by Bono. The computer crashed, so now we just have to guess, but we reckon at least 350% of the population get killed every day. More on weekends, because then we drink and fight a lot.

This, and the scenery, makes South Africa an ideal location to carry out a carefully-planned killing. It’s not hard. Nor is it expensive. You just have to have your wits about you, and plan your hit trip carefully.

For a start, don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Even if it’s a long-awaited holiday or honeymoon, keep your family and friends in the dark. They might get suspicious if you tell them you’re headed to a cheap country with a great climate, exciting safaris and excellent wine, but where everyone is murdered three times a year.

Ivo seems to have done rather too much research on this, so it’s probably best that you avoid dodgy taxi trips to the local township if you’ve done something to annoy him.

And let’s face it, most of us fall neatly into that category.

EDIT: This post is dedicated to Ivo Vegter, who was murdered yesterday at his home in Knysna.
And twice again this morning.