Ugh… Cyclists.
When they’re not jumping red lights, riding seventy-four abreast through Kalk Bay every weekend or whining about their morning jaunt being cancelled, they’re defecating in their hands and flinging it at fellow road-users.
Poo flinging? How very Capetonian.
But amazingly, the victim of the attack has come in for criticism after sharing the details of the incident online. Comments included:
“A man had time to pull down his trousers, poo in his hands and lob it at your car..?? Was you stationary..?? Because I’d of drove off the minute he was pulling down his trousers.!!”
Yeah – sorry about the grammar etc. It’s from Gloucester.
And my favourite:
“Anyone with half a brain cell would drive off as soon as the hand cupped to scoop the poop.”
Presumably these people are only aware of best practice here because this has happened to them too?
So there we go, folks. The two expert-recommended stages to commence driving away should you ever find yourself in a similar situation: the pulling down of the trousers and the cupping of the hand to scoop.
Leave it any later than that, and frankly, you’re asking for trouble.