Those of you who were fortunate enough to have lived through the 90s (my favourite decade, and, coincidentally, also my favourite range of bath temerpatures), may remember British pop and soul sensation Des’ree. She had a couple of hits towards the turn of the century, including You Gotta Be (which got to number 10 in the UK in 1999 as a re-re-release) and Life – a 1998 top 8 hit, by which I mean it got to number 8.
Let me jog your memory:
If you managed to sit through that, you’ll have noted that amongst other dubious wordage, (“rabbit’s tail”?!?) Life features this lyrical miracle:
I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
And it’s that verse which has prompted Des’ree to launch a twitter account commenting on recent news stories.
(It’s not actually Des’ree, you know? It’s a parody.)
(Shh.)
Here’s the link you need: The News By Des’ree.
And here are a couple of recent examples:
On the Super Blood Moon:
There’s some kind of weird moon tonight. It’s emitting a weird red light. This bloody bra is far too tight. Ooh I get the shivers.
— The News By Des’Ree (@thenewsbydesree) September 27, 2015
And on Facebook’s recent tribulations:
This has gone beyond a joke. How am I supposed to poke? Sort it out, Facebook folk. Ooh I get the shivers. #facebookdown — The News By Des’Ree (@thenewsbydesree) September 28, 2015
I think you get the idea.
Wonderful.