How to get there

Incoming from regular commenter, Reflex:

You have probably heard this already, but saw it online and thought about you.
Duran Duran have rushed out to record a new song for the World Cup.
The lyrics go: “His name is Rio and he is watching from the stands”.
Quick question, how are you getting to the matches you have booked for?

Firstly, it’s quite funny and I hadn’t heard it, although I have since been sent it 189 times.
Secondly, it scares me that people who have never met me still think of me when they see an unbelievably corny joke.
And thirdly, that’s a damn good question.

When large number people attend a sporting event, there is bound to be some sort of congestion. Those die-hard eggchasers who attended the Rugby Festival back in February and then whined about the traffic obviously have rather selective amnesia when it comes to these things. The last game I went to at Newlands was characterised by some of the worst traffic I have ever seen in the surrounding areas. Matches at Newlands, Bramall Lane, Wembley, Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium, St James’ Park – wherever – all attract lots of people and you can expect somewhat chaotic scenes before and after the games.
An extra bit of spice to be considered when looking at Cape Town Stadium is that on one side is the South Atlantic and on the other is a fairly large mountain. Both of which effectively rule out any approach from those directions.

This leaves two possible angles: drive around the Atlantic Seaboard route and park in Sea Point or the more-popular approach from the city centre. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. The coastal route will be much less utilised and should therefore be the obvious choice. However, if something goes wrong there – one breakdown, one accident – it’s game over. It’s a very thin, winding road around the coast and there are no second chances. In short, it’s the high risk/high reward route. And I can’t take risks on World Cup games.

The City Centre approach has a much better chance of success, but will be stupidly busy. Getting anywhere within walking distance of the stadium and parking a car will be nigh on impossible. And that’s what the organisers want, because they want you to use public transport. But there are issues there too.
I have no problem with using the Park and Ride to the stadium from the CBD. But that still means that I have to get to the Park and Ride car park in the CBD in the first place. If the roads into the CBD are congested – and they will be – then that’s not going to be easy.
I could take the Park and Ride bus from UCT, but that’s got to also get to the CBD along those same congested roads. And the vehicle I would perhaps least want to be in when stuck in heavy traffic is a bus. Especially one driven by someone who doesn’t have any personal interest in getting to the stadium before kick off.
And that leaves me with the train, which seems like a sensible choice except for the risk generated by their rather unreliable nature. And remember that I said I can’t take risks with World Cup games.

In short, I’m a bit stuck. I thought I’d formulated a brilliant plan, but then I read about the no fly zone over the stadium during the World Cup and anyway, I was short of one helicopter. Teleportation hasn’t been invented yet and neither has time travel, using which, I could have popped down to the pub in Green Point on Wednesday and then fast-forwarded 48 hours. However, the spin off of the time travel plan was the pub plan, wherein I popped down to the pub in Green Point on Wednesday and then drank for 48 hours.

This pub plan still seems like the most viable option at present.

All of the more sensible options discussed above are summed up in the Cape Town City Getting Around Guide.

Five days

The official countdowns all say four, but ask anyone how many days between Sunday and Friday and you’ll be told five. So the official countdowns aren’t fooling anyone.
Mid-range forecasts suggest that Cape Town is going to have a pretty horrendous start to the week weather-wise, but that Thursday – and more importantly – Friday, are both going to be mild and DRY.

While Cape Town is allegedly a way behind Jo’burg in World Cup spirit, something I can believe after visiting the rather sterile Waterfront this morning, there are spots of extreme gees (spirit) here and there. Like the guy above with his work-in-progress garage door in Newlands. (You can see this new landmark from the M3 opposite Newlands Forest [MAP].)

This apparent lack of excitement doesn’t worry me. Capetonians always start getting into these things a little late, but then once they do, they do it so much better than residents of other South African cities we could mention.

World Cup Issues

A couple of World Cup images that caught my interest today.

Firstly, The Onion reports on an error that I’m shocked no-one had spotted before:

No wonder the Germans (and the Italians) (and the Spanish) (etc etc) are complaining about it.

And then, a little more seriously (I hope) the SABC Building, patriotically illuminated:

Look – it’s a great effort and it looks really beautiful, but when the flag is displayed vertically, the red should be on the left.
Not a big thing, but this is the national broadcaster.

Shouldn’t they know?

Avoid costly mobile phone bills while in South Africa

I can’t actually believe that I’m writing this. This sort of thing is so basic, it shouldn’t need to be written. And that’s going to open the floodgates to all sorts of other basic advice posts like how to wipe your bum after going to the toilet and how you should use a spoon instead of a fork when eating soup. Stuff you really shouldn’t need to be told.
It’s a road I don’t want to go down, but Sky News have forced me to with this article on their website:

World Cup Warning: £80 To Post Photos Online
World Cup ticket holders may need to resist the temptation to make friends envious by posting pictures online using their mobile phones, a customer group has warned.
Consumer Focus calculated that the cost of uploading just 10 photos to Facebook from South Africa could result in an eye-watering £80 bill from a UK mobile operator.

The article goes on to say that visitors should look for an internet cafe to use while they are here, or stock up on text and data bundles before they head over. But there’s a much better way, isn’t there?

My #worldcuphost mode kicks in.
If you’re  coming over for the World Cup, your first stop after the airport and the pub should be a supermarket or post office. There, you can pick up a Vodacom or MTN SIM card, which will cost no more than R1. That’s a whole 9 pence. You’ll need to have your passport with you to register the SIM in your name.
Stock up with some airtime from the friendly cashier, put that new SIM card in your phone – don’t forget to take your UK one out first – and use it for the duration of your stay.
That’s it, there are no more instructions.

Texts back to Blighty will cost around R1.50 (14p) each and data is around R2/MB (that’s 18p).
Train smash averted.

What? You remain unconvinced and  need some further encouragement that this is the correct way to go? Then let me help you out with an ever so basic example.
I’ve done some rudimentary calculations and I reckon that with the current exchange rate at about £1/R11.25 and the average price of a bottle of beer in a pub of R15, that £80 quid you were about to waste on Facebook could get you 60 (sixty!) extra bottles of beer.

I think you should send a few of them my way, don’t you?

Squads confirmed (ish)

Each team participating at the FIFA World Cup 2010 has until midnight tonight to name their final 23 man squads. Bafana Bafana named theirs at a press conference this morning and the bi g news (worldwide) was the omission of striker Benni McCarthy.

Goalkeepers: Itumeleng Khune, Moeneeb Josephs, Shu-aib Walters

Defenders: Aaron Mokoena (captain), Siboniso Gaxa, Bongani Khumalo, Anele Ngcongca, Tsepo Masilela, Lucas Twala, Mathew Booth, Lance Davids, Siyabonga Sangweni

Midfielders: Teko Modise, Siphiwe Tshabalala, Steven Pienaar, Thanduyise Khuboni, Kagiso Dikgacoi, Macbeth Sibaya, Reneilwe Letsholonyane, Surprise Moriri

Strikers: Bernard Parker, Katlego Mphela, Siyabonga Nomvete

Following last night’s 5-0 win over Guatemala in Polokwane, South frica have now gone 11 matches unbeaten and face Denmark in their final warm-up game before next Friday’s opener against Mexico at Soccer City.

England’s squad announcement, due at lunchtime was delayed until this afternoon. But that didn’t stop journalists leaking the details of the 7 players left out of Fabio Capello’s original 30-man training squad.
As the BBC’s exasperated Jonathan Stevenson remarked:

This is a most unsatisfying resolution to quite an important announcement. We’re still waiting on the names of four of the England players who will not be travelling to South Africa.

and then:

Oh for crying out loud. I love Fabio, but this has gone on way too long – and according to Express sport, the official announcement won’t be until 1500 BST now. It’s frankly a shambolic and unacceptable way for England’s World Cup campaign to begin.
Transfer deadline day ain’t got nothing on this. It’s carnage.

And he’s right. After a blisteringly good qualifying campaign, England have looked shakier and shakier against Mexico and then Japan. Now, the FA have messed up the squad announcement which should have been a straightforward press conference: how difficult is it to read out 23 names?

Are the wheels coming off already? It’s really not a good start.

UPDATE: Finally – at 1600 BST, the rumours are confirmed:

ENGLAND’S 2010 WORLD CUP SQUAD:
Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.

Defenders: Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock

Midfielders: Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Forwards: Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney

Meaning that Leighton Baines, Michael Dawson, Tom Huddlestone, Scott Parker, Adam Johnson, Theo Walcott and Darren Bent don’t make the squad of 23.

Upson, Carragher, Carrick, and Lennon look like the weak links to me. Oh – and all the goalkeepers.