I’ve always admired Shakira. Anyone who can come out with the lines
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don’t confuse them with mountains
Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
and manage to keep a straight face deserves some modicum of respect.
Especially if you’ve seen her mum’s legs.
However, as VH1 played her 2005 hit La Tortura this morning, my son decided that it was time to play with his latest favourite toy: the vacuum cleaner. Thus, with 1400W of Hoover belting away barely 2 feet in front of the telly drowning out her vocal efforts, I was treated to a solely visual performance of the La Tortura video, during which Ms Shakira spills a fair amount of oil over herself (something she probably couldn’t afford to do these days), chops some onions up for a nice casserole and demonstrates the six principles of pilates. Several times over.
I advise you to watch the following video with the sound muted. If you’re from New Zealand, you will particularly appreciate the moment at around 2:17 when she starts doing the Haka.
If you’re from anywhere else, there are still several other humble mountain moments to admire.
Bugger. My wife’s home. You ain’t seen me, right?