Weather news from afar

While we are having a rather wet and windy day in Cape Town, according to Sky News it seems that the UK is bracing itself for equally nasty weather over the days ahead.

Gale force winds and heavy rain are forecast to lash many parts of the country today as stormy conditions, usually only experienced in the autumn and winter, hit the UK.
The Met Office has issued a severe weather warning for south-west England from early afternoon, with gusts of up to 70mph expected on exposed coasts and headlands in Devon and Cornwall.
Through tonight and Friday the centre of the storm will move slowly north east to south Wales and many parts of southern England as well as the South West, again with a risk of gales. Many places could see gusts of between 55 and 65mph, while as far north as Northumberland could be hit by the Atlantic storm.
Heavy rain is also due to fall over much of England over the next 48 hours.

Sounds divine. Glad I’m not headed there anytime soon.

Wait. What?

I’m no fan of seeing summers ruined, but some of the comments did make me smile:

Here’s coronakid with his/her take on it:

Nothing new here,the seasons are changing and have been over time.

The seasons are changing? Really? Hoodathunkit?
But you’re right – it seems like they’ve been doing that forever.

Strega weighs in with:

I put all this down to the volcano erupting in Iceland last year. Unusually hot summer but when all the hot air rises and cools the ash becomes cold and rain and wind occur.

That’ll be last year as in 2010, presumably? Did you perhaps fall asleep and miss 2011 completely?
And look, I’m no meteorologist, but I’ve been doing some rudimentary calculations and I can find completely no scientific evidence that cold ash causes rain and wind to occur. I think you’re talking utter pants.

But what does the so called scientific world know anyway?
Hit us with it, Joseph Bennett:

The globel warming lot will no dought blame it on us again but no one in the so called scientific world have never thought of the positions of the planets in the last few years they have been closer to us which will affect our planet

Where. To. Begin.

Well, for starters, I’m pretty sure that no astronomers (part of the so called scientific world last time I checked) have never thought of the positions of the planets in the last few years. That’s their job and I can’t believe that they’d be so remiss as to not not never think of the positions of the planets in the last few years. That’s an awfully long time span not to do your job for.

But, that aside, I’m also struggling with the link between the proximity (noted or not by the so call scientific world) of the planets and a bit of wind and rain sweeping across southern England. Could they not find somewhere else to make it happen? Or maybe even do something a little more significant? Massive galactic explosions? Alien invasion?
Come now, if they’re going to make all the effort of being closer to us, I’d expect to see something a bit more spectacular than some gusty drizzle in Exeter.

Sky News comments could just be the new Southern Suburbs Tatler

Aciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!

Hysterical British Tabloid Reporting (HBTR) returns to South Africa, a few months after comprehensively failing to derail the 2010 FIFA World Cup.

This from Sky News:

This isn’t anything new. These stories hit the SA newspapers months ago. But the Chernobyl link is nice – it’s obvious that they’ve had to think about things for a while before that one came to them. But once you consider the two issues, the similarity is obvious:

We were told that we were about to visit the most radioactive place on the whole trip. Geiger counters were brought out, and we watched the numbers double, triple, and quadruple, to a level far higher than we had seen near the reactor itself. Out the window we could see overgrown grass fields. It was clear nobody stopped here for trivial reasons. We drove through. It was clearly not a place for a roadside picnic.

and:

It is contaminated with uranium and other heavy metals and is as acidic as lemon juice.

Because Jo’burg is no place for a roadside picnic either.

But listen – this can be sorted out fairly easily. When I have lemon juice issues with my pancakes, I add some sugar. Perhaps that’s all that is needed here. Sugar, in Biblical proportions, pumped into the ground in Gauteng.

And then, once the threat of the Acid Mine Drainage has been neutralised, Emma T can tell us about the 9/11-style dental problems that sweetening Jo’burg’s foundations has caused.

Sky News is killing English

Well, the snot has caught up with me and brought with it a stinking headache and an unpleasant fever. Days like this mean staying in bed so as not to infect colleagues and staying in bed means daytime tv. And analysing it.

Sky News. What are they trying to do to the English language?
It was a while back that they began americanising the date. Suddenly “the seventeenth of March” became “seventeenth March”. Annoying.

Next was the singularisation of sports teams: “Sheffield United have won the FA Cup” is English (and a little unlikely). “Sheffield United has won the FA Cup” is not (English – it’s still unlikely).

And today, in their report on University fee changes, £3,145, which I and every other Engelsman would pronounce as “three thousand, one hundred and forty-five” has apparently suddenly become “three thousand, A hundred forty-five”.

Look, I’m not feeling well and I’m mildly more grumpy than usual. But why must they bastardise the language in these ways? Was there – is there – really anything so bad about the way we say things now?
And even if there was/is, who appointed Sky News as the ones to put things “right”?

I’m unimpressed and I’m switching over to Mythbusters where they speak funny, but there’s Kary Byron as compensation.

Written on my Sony Ericsson Xperia X1. In bed.