Forget the Angolans, the sharks and the naughty people with knives.
Have you seen the number of flippin’ terrifying bugs there are out there?
Even in my Cape Town garden (which is actually in Europe), there’s some nasty stuff about:
And I haven’t even mentioned the killer bees and the moths, (which are probably, like, killer moths).
Once the Daily Mail gets hold of this kind of information, FIFA will have no choice but to bow to the mighty pressure Paul Dacre and his band of right-wing underlings will place them under and the tournament will be moved to Australia, which is already home to some nasty racist animals but let’s not make a fuss about that.