Day 294 – The house strikes back

Episode V of the Star Wars trilogy.

Wait…

No, this concerns the house from which we are moving in the near future (Covid-willing). It’s striking back – hence the title of this post.

I’m not for one moment suggesting that the house is a sentient thing, is aware that we are moving out, and – a bit pissed off about the whole situation – is taking some sort of preemptive revenge*, but at the same time, I actually am.

Because that’s pretty much exactly what is happening.

First off there’s the mandatory inspections for electric fence, plumbing, beetles, electrics and gas. This is like an MOT or a Roadworthy for your house, done each time you move, and it’s there to make sure that the new residents aren’t moving in to a death trap, even if you’ve been living in one.

And apparently, we have.

Because regulations have changed (a lot!) during our long stay here (almost 16 years), because some builders clearly took some shortcuts when working on our place (lesson learned), and because wiring deteriorates, our house doesn’t comply in a number of ways, all of which require remediation.

Costly.

On the plus side, I completely recognise the need for this and we’re also going to be moving into a house which has also been inspected and made safe.

But that’s (expensive, but) standard stuff. It’s the little niggles that the house has thrown up since it discovered that we were leaving it that are causing us more problems. A jammed outside door, a gas hob plate that’s suddenly not working (and even after being fixed twice, still insists on not working) and a lawn that is defying the fertilisers and the watering and just being yellow. Oh, and then the hosepipe just burst on me**, which wasn’t actually that bad since it’s stupid degrees Celsius out there today, but still – you get my point, right?

We have another few weeks to get through here before the new house – irritated that we were instrumental in taking away its previous and much-beloved owners – takes on the mantle.

Woohoo.

 

* is this a thing? wouldn’t it just be “venge”?
** no, I wasn’t watering during the day. conciliate your breasts.

Just how hot is it?

It’s warm, certainly. A quick peek at the mercury digital thermometer on my return from the local Pick and Pay suggested somewhere around 27ºC in the shade. There’s a slight breeze though, and that certainly makes it bearable – even rather pleasant, in fact. Or so I thought.

There was a larger, middle-aged lady in the supermarket just now who was clearly feeling the heat a little more than I was though. But still, is it really hot enough that you take a large chunk of (yes, thankfully wrapped, but still…) cheese out of the refrigerator unit, place it against your glowing forehead, rub it down the sides of your neck, then move it slowly across the top of your sweaty breasts inside your blouse…

AND THEN PUT IT BACK IN THE FRIDGE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO BUY? 

I very nearly blew chow.

Absolutely shameless. And absolutely disgusting. I passed comment and she just shrugged. And then, as I was leaving, I told the manager what I had just witnessed and left him to deal with it.

Cooling off

A picture is worth a thousand words, they say. In my humble opinion, it’s going to have to be a pretty detailed photo for someone to wax lyrical for 1000 words about it though.

Still, sometimes words aren’t the only way that a photograph’s worth can be measured. How about feelings? Not emotions: I don’t believe in them, since I’m a tough, macho Yorkshireman.
I’m talking about my interaction with my immediate environment.

And this photograph from FOTB Chris Wormwell:

I’m currently sitting in an office which is slightly hotter than the Sahara, because the person I’m sharing it with appears to be cold-blooded like some sort of reptile, but all I need to do to feel a little cooler is look at Chris’ Glen Mooar image above.

It’s only a temporary fix though, and we’re going to have to reach some sort of compromise over the aircon soon – especially with summer right around the corner now. It’s not likely to be cooler anytime soon and I have to wear these clothes for two days because of the water shortages.

And I am MELTING! 

[looks at photograph above again]
Ah! That’s better.

We Put This Thermometer In The Sun In Cape Town. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next.

It’s a hot day in Cape Town. This happens fairly regularly around this time of year, this being Cape Town and it being summer. Today was meant to get to 38 or 39ºC, depending on whom you chose to believe. But when we hung a calibrated and certified thermometer out of our lab window, we got a temperature of 41.1ºC.

This was in the shade, but it was obviously not in a Stevenson Screen – the official vented white box, 1.5m from the ground, which provides the standard conditions (in the shade, out of the wind, away from surfaces radiating heat etc) for measuring weather. But we don’t have a Stevenson Screen. We were just messing around hanging a thermometer out of a second floor window while we should have been working eating our lunch.

And then we hung it in the sun. Now, to be in the sun, it did have to be a bit closer (within 30cm, perhaps) to a wall which had also been in the sun, but still – if you were where the thermometer was at 12:46pm this afternoon, this is what you would have been experiencing:

IMG_20150303_124816

Blimey.

So no, despite my scientific leanings, this wasn’t scientific.
But our quick and dirty experiment does seem to indicate that Cape Town is bloody hot today.

Drink much, stay safe.