Day 518 – Yesterday, I held a horse

And today, I’m broken.

Taking my daughter to her riding lesson is a pretty simple task. A ten minute drive, a 50m walk to a convenient bench or tree stump over looking the arena while she rides, followed by a leisurely stroll back up to the stables (this bit does take a little time and effort) and then back home again. I did it last week with no issues.

Easy-peasy.

There was a slight glitch yesterday, though. Briefly, before the lesson began, there were more horses than people, and I was asked to hold a horse for a couple of minutes while the teacher popped off to get things sorted out. No big deal. I’m not a huge fan of horses, but I can stand there and hold a horse with the best of them.

I was given Stats to hold. Stats is huge, but he’s a lovely gentle giant. When we arrived, he was being ridden by a tiny 7 year old girl. Stats is ever so sweet. Holding Stats – bridled up with convenient reins – for a couple of minutes was going to be no big deal.

But it turned out that Stats didn’t want to stand. He wanted to eat, and I didn’t have any food. Quite reasonably, I’d left the obligatory post-lesson carrots on the tree stump. He wanted to wander, but I’d been asked to keep him away from the other horse in the vicinity. He wanted to play, and nudged and bumped me. He’s probably about half a ton of horse. But it’s all about letting him know who’s the boss. I stuck to my guns and gave him reassuring pats and nose tickles, despite his tugs and pushes.

Oh, and it wasn’t just a couple of minutes. It was ten.

Well, it turns out that in my current state, I actually can’t hold a horse for ten minutes. Well, not without the repercussions of being quite sore the next day. Wow: this scored HIGH on the Duvet Cover Hanging Scale. But I didn’t realise immediately, because as soon as I was relieved of my horse holding duties, (yes, a bit knackered) I went and sat down and watched the lesson for an hour.
Which was nice.

Only overnight did I realise that what is left of my muscles had been pulled and strained by a mildly enthusiastic equine. Everything hurts. My left arse cheek, particularly.

HOW?!?!

I have a thing I need to do today, so I am thoroughly dosed up with Myprodol, but wow. Who would have thought that just holding a horse for ten minutes could leave you in this sort of state?

Broken.

Heed my cautionary horse holding tale.

Quota Pegasus

I’m not a big fan of horses. Dangerous things, and another animal that some humans treat as… a human.
Weird.
Thus, you wouldn’t find me on any horse. And that means that I wouldn’t find myself in this sort of position.

image

The look on the guy’s face is great: “Ooh. This is not going to end well”.

UK readers may remember A Question Of Sport’s “What Happened Next?” round and that would certainly be interesting (and probably painful).
I’d also like to try its sister round “What The Bloody Hell Has Just Happened?”

Equine sign

In the week that Canadian diva,┬áCeline “Ole Horse Face” Dion arrived in Cape Town to perform two concerts at Vergelegen Wine Estate as part of her Taking Chances tour , the Western Province Horse Society┬áchose to release the following reminder to horse owners across the province:

African Horse Sickness
Link

Coincidence? I think not.

If only Canada had enforced some sort of export ban, we’d be feeling a lot happier in Cape Town right now.

I’m sure that I’m not alone in this city as I pray for hoarse of a different kind.
Won’t somebody please think of the children?