Map tweet

Spotted on twitter yesterday. Very good.

I want to hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations I’ve traveled to, but first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

Apparently, Mitch Hedberg was the guy who said this. Hadn’t heard of him before, but it seems that he was very popular and said a lot of funny things.

Here are 100+ of them:

Not all of them are that funny (to me at least), but there are enough in there to have a mental wander and a smile.

tl;dr – 26, 35, 53, 54, 64, 93.


This crashed onto my computer screen this morning, and though I’ve seen it several (or more) times before and it’s very silly, it’s also very amusing, and so I’m happily sharing it on here.

And talking of fake news programmes – as in other programmes pretending to be news programmes, rather than news programmes playing hard and loose with the facts – I’ve also been enjoying some Jonathan Pie this weekend. His alter ego Tom Walker’s Youtube channel is well worth a browse if you like your comedy hard, fast, spikey and political.

Fan Man: A new breed of superhero

The Blades were brilliant last night in the gale force wind at Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane.
1-0 up halfway through the first half thanks to a wholly legitimate penalty, it was all going so well until Gary Madine had a rush of blood to the studs ten minutes later and scythed down one of their midfielders for a wholly legitimate straight red card.

What followed was a masterclass in prolonged, committed, uncompromising defending as wave upon wave of Brentford attack bore down upon the United goal. Sure, we rode our luck a couple of times, but these stats don’t tell any lies. It was an absolute siege, and we survived.

As you can see, the final score was 2-0, but there was a particularly squeaky bum patch just before we got that all-important second goal, where there seemed no way out for United. Every clearance came straight back, and every attack seemed certain to end with an equaliser.
So, picture the scene after 67 minutes, when the ball was cleared out for a Brentford throw-in and one fan on John Street decided that he was going to be a hero and waste a bit of time as the Brentford player asked him to pass the ball…

Oof. Still, at least it hasn’t made it onto computer screens all around the world, thanks to the power of social media and South Africa’s favourite blog.

That would be awful.

The highlights package isn’t out yet, and generally, they don’t put this sort of thing in anyway, but I’ll link to it when I see it. Just in case.
And also to remember one of the great Sheffield United performances of recent years.


Quotes of the weekend

Sometimes your weekend contains more than one bloggable quote.

This was one of those weekends.

There was this one from the Tall Accountant on his changing dietary habits in middle age:

I’m hovering at the apex point of chips.

For the record, fast food burgers have already gone over the edge, but a decent thin crust pizza is still well within the safety zone.

And then from Friday evening, while descending the back of Table Mountain on a Cub sunset hike, a little voice (7 or 8 years old) piped up from just behind us:

My Dad’s nickname for my Mum is ‘Sparklepuss’.

Ok then. Out of the mouths of babes, eh?