Day 285 – Mr Fixit

Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad, or so Mr Loaf told us back in the late 70s.

And with three appliances playing up at home today, I thought I’d give fixing them a go, rather than paying someone else to come and have a look.

Let’s see how I got on (the hint is above really, isn’t it?).

First off, the washing machine. It’s a 13 year old LG front loader (c.f. these guys) for those of you who like to know that kind of thing. But it keeps getting stuck in the rinse cycle. How irritating.

A quick google of the symptoms revealed that it was probably a clogged drain filter that was the problem. And so I found the drain filter, removed it and unclogged it. Unpleasant. But now the washing machine works again. Hashtag winning.

Next up was the IP camera attached to the house security system. It’s a Dahua system for those of you who like to know that kind of thing. And all except one of the cameras were working.

I happen to know that the camera that wasn’t working is the special camera that’s connected to zone 8. Opening the app which is hardwired into the system, I noticed that there were two different IP addresses listed. One for the camera and one for the system. That seemed a bit odd.
I took all my courage into my hands and changed the camera IP address to the same as the system, clicked the APPLY button and… it worked! I can now see that other view of my driveway from wherever I am in the world. Sadly, because of lockdown, where I am in the world is just behind that very same driveway.

I could just look out of the window. But then I could just wash my clothes by hand.

And now there’s just the gas hob to work on. It’s a Defy gas hob for those of you who like to know that kind of thing. There’s an issue with the supply to one of the rings. But the first job was just water and the second one was just pixels. Water and pixels don’t blow houses up. No – you need a decent supply of (in this case) butane for that, together with a lack of experience in dealing with butane-supplying appliances. And house go boom boom.

And so I’m leaving the gas hob job to someone else. Someone that knows what they’re doing and can then be held liable for the damage when the house does go boom boom.

But they’ve just been and sorted out my problem. And the house hasn’t gone boom boom just yet.

I’ve sorted it all out (even though the last 33.3% was simply accomplished by calling someone else in). I’m happy.

Step forward Mr Loaf – the stage is yours.



Day 24 – DIM

DIY = Do It Yourself
DIM = (Fine, I’ll) Do It Myself (then)

I have been forced into doing all those little jobs that my wife has been going on about for a few days years now. Well, technically she did half of them and then I felt so guilty I had to join in and do the rest. We now have – amongst other things – cleared flower beds and painted walls.

And a stronger marriage. Maybe.

These were the sort of chores that we might normally have done together over a weekend, so I don’t feel too bad, but they did still need doing and I hadn’t (until now, at least) done them.

That’s not to say that I haven’t done anything though – the steps in the back garden were falling apart, and now they are falling apart a little bit less. Some trees and bushes were getting a bit overgrown and now they are less overgrown. But sometimes it’s hard to motivate oneself to do these rather mundane tasks, especially when one day is very much blending into the next and the world is not going to fall apart (any more than it already has) if you don’t do them.

Even I have to admit that the flower beds look better and the wall looks lovely though. I tried to suggest that the fact that we’d done these jobs together meant that we can both be proud of the outcome, but my wife rolled her eyes so far back that she could see 2019.

I may be in trouble and I suspect that only a well-mixed gin and tonic will get me out of it. I’m going to give that approach a go right now.

Bank Holiday DIY

It’s Bank Holiday Monday in the UK – their equivalent of one of our public holidays (specifically the one we had last Tuesday). But this one is the first proper one of Spring there, and is widely regarded as an opportunity to spruce up the house and garden ready for the day they call Summer.

In honour of this, poet Brian Bilston has helpfully rewritten the lyrics to Sheffield band the Arctic Monkeys’ 2006 hit I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor with a DIY slant.

Just in case you don’t know the original, here it is:

Legendary sounds.

And here are Brian’s alternative lyrics, delivered in jpeg poetry form:

Very, very, clever, as always.

Happy Holidays, UK readers.

Good Friday Shopping

This morning, I felt that my knee was doing well enough for me to try some DIY. Like, all the tasks that had been put off because my knee wasn’t well enough. So I packed the kids into the car and headed for Builder’s Warehouse: our local DIY behemoth.

Of course, today is a public holiday, and they’re open from 0900-1700 on public holidays. It says so on their website and on the big sign next to their… very closed doors.

They’re not open. At all. Not even a little bit.

So you can’t buy bricks, but you can pop across the road to Toys R Us: a store which is in dire financial straits and closing stores worldwide, but which is ironically open in Tokai right now.

Many malls and shopping centres are operating an “Optional Trading” policy today, and as it’s a religious holiday, I guess it’s reasonable to assume that on this most holy of Christian days, it’s God who decides which stores get to open and which aren’t allowed to.

We went to Constantia Village to investigate and found that She’d made some interesting choices as to what was open and what was closed:

You can buy crystals (Spilhaus) but not trendy casserole dishes (Le Creuset).
Amazingly, you can buy gin (PnP Liquor), but not jewellery (Peter Gilder).
You can buy childrens clothes (Earthchild), but not adult clothes (Revenge).
You can buy water filter cartridges (H2O International), but you can’t pick up concert tickets (Computicket).
You can’t get your haircut at all (Edge, Partners).
Unless you are a lady (Carlton).
But your nails are going to have to wait (ManiPedi).
Absolutely no sunglasses (The Village Eyewear).
But coffee gets the nod (Seattle Coffee Company).
Not leather goods though, for they are the Devil’s work (Tsonga).
Oh, and you can’t buy perfume (My Perfume Shop), but also, you can (Red Square by Edgars).

The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways…