Day 268 – Problematic Simon

Big news (it’s not that big) released last night by the Health Minister and his scientific friends is that we’re apparently under siege from a new variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus. Dr Mkhize spoke yesterday evening and, I think, did a very good job of explaining what the 501.V2 Variant is, how it was detected and what it means for the fight against Covid-19 in SA.

But then there was this:

I don’t usually listen to washed-up political hasbeens (you had your chance), but this tweet irritated me.

The line “I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but…” is akin to the old favourite “I’m not racist, but…” and is always, always the prefix to either a conspiracy theory or something overtly racist.

And Simon doesn’t let us all down (for once) by immediately spouting a ridiculous conspiracy theory.

Note: the “Genuine Question” bit at the start is not a disclaimer or an excuse.

This shouldn’t happen. Supposedly intelligent individuals shouldn’t be sharing their drunken thoughts in a public forum. It’s fortunate that the only people really listening to Simon at this point are the ones that no-one else really listens to, and so this uneducated, desperately foolish rhetoric will hopefully die quickly in his little echo chamber.

If you are tempted to tweet an utterly stupid conspiracy theory to your followers, then please do as Simon did, and tell us up front that you “don’t usually subscribe to this sort of thing” or some such, so that we can all save our time and simply ignore whatever follows.

Or better still, rather than vomiting your nonsense across social media, just quietly ask someone with a brain to gently explain it to you, thus preventing you from looking like a prize arse in front of the whole country.

More important news…

Further to my exposé yesterday on the exposé that there was new evidence suggesting that the government is using NASA to air drop Lithium on the masses, in which I exposed that there was no such evidence, I’ve had literally an email asking me to check up on other claims from that same dodgy site.

There’s a lot of stuff on there though, so I’m going to have to skim through it or we’re going to be bogged down for ages, and I’ve got a steak dinner planned for Thursday. If I haven’t died of lithium poisoning.

We’re not. But ok, if we were:

According to Graham, who owns the YouTube channel [redacted], certain extra-terrestrial beings are present inside the UFOs that can be seen from the ISS, and that they will soon reveal themselves not just to the astronauts that might be out in space already, but also to the rest of the world itself.

But they won’t. But ok, if they did.

In Graham’s view, it would really be in our best interest if visiting aliens are non-hostile.

No shit, Graham. You don’t say?




Or maybe try the chemotherapy or radiotherapy regimen that your oncologist, who has studied for literally years and years to become a specialist in this difficult field, is more likely to advise, given that the aforementioned Budwig Diet seems to consist solely of a:

cottage cheese and flax oil mixture


the diet has been used successfully in the treatment of cancer and other conditions for the last 50 years

really? According to whom?

…according to anecdotal studies.

With cottage cheese and flax oil readily available over the counter of your local branches of Pick n Pay and Dischem it really is a wonder that cancer is even still a thing.

You do the maths.

And then there was this:

Apparently, one of the many alleged benefits of Himalayan singing bowl therapy is toxin elimination, but I think they must mean Himalayan singing bowels. The public toilets of Kathmandu are indeed an incredible aural experience.

They are available as both pure singing bowls or hand-hammered versions made from an alloy of seven metals, which symbolize the seven planets, days of the week, primary colors, and musical notes.

There are 8 planets (9 if you include Pluto), 7 days of the week, 3 primary colours and 12 musical notes. I’m just saying.

Onto my pet subject: microbiology! And big news in the fight against antibiotic resistance:

Sounds good – what are you using instead, 25-year old student?

We’ve developed a new class of antimicrobial agents, which are very unique. They come in the form of tiny star-shaped molecules that are made from short chains of proteins.

Given that antibiotics is just a simplified word for “antimicrobial agents”, I think that headline might need to be altered just slightly:

Fixed. But wait. What’s this?

The suggestion (of course) is that this was an alien ship carrying… well… aliens. But this article is from last November. And yet we’re all still here. It seems likely therefore that the aliens were defeated through a combination of flax oil, cottage cheese and antibiotics antimicrobial agents.

And regarding aliens, I’ll leave you with this difficult juxtaposition:

The Bastards! But also:

The Bastards!

Horrible and scary. So stressed right now.
I’m going back to my Himalayan Singing Bowl.

Conspiracy Theories

I’ve gone off John Oliver a bit of late. If he’s trying to be a comedian, then we’re all good. But if he wants to be taken seriously as a political commentator – something that he seems to want to achieve – then he needs to be a little more consistent in telling us what we should be thinking.

But that’s another story for another post.

Happily for the purposes of your blog reading experience today, this clip is all about the funnies:

The more you trawl the internet (and I actually finished reading the whole thing a few months back now, so I’m a bit of an expert), the more outlandish the conspiracy theories you find, and – perhaps more worryingly – the more people you find supporting them.

This the day after April Fools, the only day where people actually read the mainstream media with any degree of cynicism…

Honestly, wake up, sheeple!

Or… er… not.

Interesting discussions yesterday over the potential validity (none) of the conspiracy theories surrounding the Boston bombings.

I’m not going to link to any of them – you can go google “loony tunes, boston bombings” if you want to read more.

However, I was sent this at the height of the manhunt for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev:

bostYou can click the picture for a larger version with bigger writing

Or… er… not.

Much like those annoying Sunday Times or City Press headlines, everyone remembers the story, and you can slip in a quiet retraction on page 79 (or not if you prefer) which 0.1% of the people who read the original make-believe will read, leaving 99.9% of the population believing that what you said was true.

My publishing the above image is just a little personal stand against that modus operandi and should serve as a reminder that you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet – not least the people who are telling you not to believe everything that you read on the internet.

I recognise the fact that some people may find me slightly hypocritical in suggesting, here on the internet, that you shouldn’t believe the people on the internet who are telling you not to believe everything you read on the internet, but really, you just shouldn’t.

Question everything. Except me.