In that post, I described how – despite much in-depth googling – I just couldn’t seem to locate her medical qualification. I also touched on the nutty theories, “research” and general quackery to which she subscribes, including (but not limited to):
“DNA nutrition”, homeopathy, naturopathy, “Quantum Nano Technology”, “DNA activation”, “water oscillation, frequency and resonance technology”, and “Haemotology and Nutrition for Blood Types”.
Well, yesterday, “Dr” Chabad (de Jaeger) de la Fontaine was back on a beach, and – anxious to maintain and extend her reign as Cape Town’s craziest person of 2021 – ticked off a few more boxes on the thin aluminium millinery list:
Ah yes, the global cabal, anti-semitic, NWO, antichrist agenda.
That old chestnut…
Look, I really don’t want to see or hear any more from this dreadful, dried-out prune of a woman, but at the same time, we’re so very close to filling in our nutzy bingo sheet here, that I find myself almost praying that just she pops up tomorrow in Kommetjie with a screamy 5G, Bill Gates microchips in the vaccine, Reptilian overlord-laden rant just to dot the Is and cross the Ts.
And once she’s done that, she can fuck right off and never darken our collective doorway again, thank you very much.
I don’t watch news programmes specifically for this reason. But last night, I flicked on eNCA because I wanted felt I had to watch Ramaphosa’s address on reducing the lockdown. This was long, long, overdue, but clearly held back so that he could wave his little “we’ve got some vaccine” flag.
And wow. The blatant fawning during the pisspoor pre-speech small talk was absolutely sickening.
I looked up several times from the ironing (it’s all about the glamour here, ok?) and was eventually told off by Mrs 6000 for using the phrase
What the actual fuck?
four times – ever more incredulously – in about a 90 second period.
I’m well aware that the art of politics is all about spin, but this was so robustly applied that we were all almost flung outwards at mass times angular velocity squared times radius*.
Stay away from news channels, guys. Or at least watch them with the knowledge that they’re all pushing some sort of agenda. This one wasn’t pretty. But at least it was pretty obvious.
Right. While I’m sounding like some sort of Trump fan with a Masters in Media Conspiracy from the Dunning-Kruger Online College, might I just ask why we’re bothering with this whole injection thing anyway?
It’s a tiresome, clumsy, process and people can avoid getting the jab if they so choose.
Ugh. No. That’s not what our reptilian overlords want.
Why not just use chemtrails?
After all, Darth Putin has got one of his planes in Cape Town right now, ready to go:
The Russian-built, Russian-registered, catchily named Illyushin II-76 TD-90VD arrived last night from the so-called Novolazarevskaya Airbase (which also sounds Russian), and features a huge cargo hold, capable of being adapted to hold fluids to bomb fires (definitely) or spread weather-modification and mind-altering chemtrails (possibly). Surely it shouldn’t be such a big thing to fill it with vaccine and get us all done in one go?
I mean, that’s almost certainly why it’s here, right?
I’m glad you are all in the know as well.
*engineers and physicists will know ** ok, that was a bit of hyperbole *** back to no hyperbole
Big news (it’s not that big) released last night by the Health Minister and his scientific friends is that we’re apparently under siege from a new variant of the SARS-CoV-2 virus. Dr Mkhize spoke yesterday evening and, I think, did a very good job of explaining what the 501.V2 Variant is, how it was detected and what it means for the fight against Covid-19 in SA.
I don’t usually listen to washed-up political hasbeens (you had your chance), but this tweet irritated me.
The line “I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but…” is akin to the old favourite “I’m not racist, but…” and is always, always the prefix to either a conspiracy theory or something overtly racist.
And Simon doesn’t let us all down (for once) by immediately spouting a ridiculous conspiracy theory.
Note: the “Genuine Question” bit at the start is not a disclaimer or an excuse.
This shouldn’t happen. Supposedly intelligent individuals shouldn’t be sharing their drunken thoughts in a public forum. It’s fortunate that the only people really listening to Simon at this point are the ones that no-one else really listens to, and so this uneducated, desperately foolish rhetoric will hopefully die quickly in his little echo chamber.
If you are tempted to tweet an utterly stupid conspiracy theory to your followers, then please do as Simon did, and tell us up front that you “don’t usually subscribe to this sort of thing” or some such, so that we can all save our time and simply ignore whatever follows.
Or better still, rather than vomiting your nonsense across social media, just quietly ask someone with a brain to gently explain it to you, thus preventing you from looking like a prize arse in front of the whole country.
Further to my exposé yesterday on the exposé that there was new evidence suggesting that the government is using NASA to air drop Lithium on the masses, in which I exposed that there was no such evidence, I’ve had literally an email asking me to check up on other claims from that same dodgy site.
There’s a lot of stuff on there though, so I’m going to have to skim through it or we’re going to be bogged down for ages, and I’ve got a steak dinner planned for Thursday. If I haven’t died of lithium poisoning.
We’re not. But ok, if we were:
According to Graham, who owns the YouTube channel [redacted], certain extra-terrestrial beings are present inside the UFOs that can be seen from the ISS, and that they will soon reveal themselves not just to the astronauts that might be out in space already, but also to the rest of the world itself.
But they won’t. But ok, if they did.
In Graham’s view, it would really be in our best interest if visiting aliens are non-hostile.
No shit, Graham. You don’t say?
Or maybe try the chemotherapy or radiotherapy regimen that your oncologist, who has studied for literally years and years to become a specialist in this difficult field, is more likely to advise, given that the aforementioned Budwig Diet seems to consist solely of a:
cottage cheese and flax oil mixture
the diet has been used successfully in the treatment of cancer and other conditions for the last 50 years
really? According to whom?
…according to anecdotal studies.
With cottage cheese and flax oil readily available over the counter of your local branches of Pick n Pay and Dischem it really is a wonder that cancer is even still a thing.
You do the maths.
And then there was this:
Apparently, one of the many alleged benefits of Himalayan singing bowl therapy is toxin elimination, but I think they must mean Himalayan singing bowels. The public toilets of Kathmandu are indeed an incredible aural experience.
They are available as both pure singing bowls or hand-hammered versions made from an alloy of seven metals, which symbolize the seven planets, days of the week, primary colors, and musical notes.
There are 8 planets (9 if you include Pluto), 7 days of the week, 3 primary colours and 12 musical notes. I’m just saying.
Onto my pet subject: microbiology! And big news in the fight against antibiotic resistance:
Sounds good – what are you using instead, 25-year old student?
We’ve developed a new class of antimicrobial agents, which are very unique. They come in the form of tiny star-shaped molecules that are made from short chains of proteins.
Given that antibiotics is just a simplified word for “antimicrobial agents”, I think that headline might need to be altered just slightly:
Fixed. But wait. What’s this?
The suggestion (of course) is that this was an alien ship carrying… well… aliens. But this article is from last November. And yet we’re all still here. It seems likely therefore that the aliens were defeated through a combination of flax oil, cottage cheese and antibiotics antimicrobial agents.
And regarding aliens, I’ll leave you with this difficult juxtaposition:
The Bastards! But also:
Horrible and scary. So stressed right now. I’m going back to my Himalayan Singing Bowl.
I’ve gone off John Oliver a bit of late. If he’s trying to be a comedian, then we’re all good. But if he wants to be taken seriously as a political commentator – something that he seems to want to achieve – then he needs to be a little more consistent in telling us what we should be thinking.
But that’s another story for another post.
Happily for the purposes of your blog reading experience today, this clip is all about the funnies:
The more you trawl the internet (and I actually finished reading the whole thing a few months back now, so I’m a bit of an expert), the more outlandish the conspiracy theories you find, and – perhaps more worryingly – the more people you find supporting them.
This the day after April Fools, the only day where people actually read the mainstream media with any degree of cynicism…