We had to say goodbye to our beagle last night. It was horrible. It still is. But the scan she had yesterday morning showed an aggressive spinal tumour, which wasn’t even visible 5 weeks ago, but which had grown and already spread to her lungs, and there was clearly no option of treatment or recovery. She’d not been well for a while with other stuff, but this was very sudden and unexpected.
We brought her back from the vet, and spent a last afternoon together at home. She lay on her favourite couch, she snorfed all around the back garden, she enjoyed copious amounts of chicken, biltong, and a lot of cheese. A lot of cheese. We all stayed with her all afternoon and gave her all the fuss she could have wanted.
And then we had to let her go. An absolutely devastating experience, but she deserved that respect and she deserved not to struggle or suffer.
It’s always so hard to deal with these things, and it’s important to concentrate on all the happy times we had together. Amongst many other things, I’ll always remember our long weekend walks on the beach in Agulhas – she was the best listener sitting on the rocks by the lagoon – and her ever-willing assistance with the crusts of my Butler’s pizzas.
It’s also worth pointing out that those few hours yesterday afternoon were merely a concentrated version of the life and the love that we had given her. And it wasn’t a one-way street (ok, to be fair, the cheese was): she was the most loving, understanding companion; incredibly gentle and endlessly patient, especially with the kids and their friends. Never judgmental, just always there with unconditional love and a little nuzzle as she slipped her head under your arm and onto your lap.
It was almost eleven years ago that Project Colin began. I wasn’t sure then, but she quickly worked her way into our hearts and lives (and the fridge whenever possible), and the house already feels incredibly empty without her. We’re devasted.
Of course, we have millions of photos and videos of her, but the one above is the one that hangs in the bar, and reminds us to take some time out once in a while, step back from the real world and just relax.
Live life like Colin.
