Earlier this week, wholly unfounded rumours of a new ban on the sale of alcohol swept the (social media) nation. Bottle stores (you may know them as liquor outlets or off-licences) were immediately inundated with panicking customers, anxious to get their fix in before the draconian measures were announced. Queues formed. Sales went through the roof.
Of course, that announcement never happened: it was never going to. But it basically meant that the bottle stores got a lot more trade for absolutely no reason. And while I don’t want to speculate about who started the rumours, there were certainly some online entities who – let’s just say – did nothing to quash them.
Really shoddy stuff.
But also successful. Very successful.
Hmm.
And so… er… it was with some alarm, that I… er… was informed, yes, of imminent Government plans to ban this blog. Yes, while all other blogs will remain online, it seems that I will be forced to take 6000 miles… down for the foreseeable future.
This is definitely going to happen, because someone just Whatsapped me this:
“Cyril will be speaking to us tonight.”
How could they deny us our privileges and luxuries, our succor, our emotional support like this?
It’s simply awful. And probably unconstitutional. And definitely not true.
Much like the alcohol producers and sellers, I will be seeking legal advice and lobbying the powers that be for a quick, nay – an immediate – reinstatement, but in the meantime, please spread this news and let them know that this might be their last chance to read stuff on here for a while.
Who knows what effect this might have on my traffic? But then who even cares, because obviously, it’s all about the principle of the whole thing. I will fight this to the highest court in the land, but in the meantime, please tell everyone you know to come and read my blog before they can’t.
Quick.