Yay. We’re heading down to Agulhas this week for the first time in a while. Looking forward to a bit of a break and some sea air. More from there when it happens. But also, I was reminded this morning of a local shop there which caters to the more… mmm… Afrikaans end of the tourist market.
What do I mean by that? I mean lots of Bible verses, lots of crosses, lots of every sort of item made from MDF and with an Afrikaans saying on them.
It’s like Live, Laugh, Love on steroids.
As jy weet, jy weet.
Amongst that is a selection of art, possibly done by the owner of the shop, we think? Now, I’m really not one to poke fun at other people’s creativity, so I’m going to just give three quick T&Cs for the rest of this blog post.
Firstly, you might not agree with my opinions on this. It’s not microbiology, after all. And indeed, this might be art that you like. And that’s fine.
Secondly, you put your stuff out there, you open it up for people to look at, judge and critique. Which I am doing.
And thirdly, it’s very difficult to not look at some of the stuff on offer and not giggle a bit. Because, well…
OK. I’m just going to limit it to two photos. Let’s be fair. Here’s the first:
That one is going for R850 and it’s entitled “You Gave Me Back My Joy”.
Presumably, this title is directed to the plastic surgery team. And guessing that we’re looking at the lady in question post surgical intervention, one can only imagine that it must have been a really bad accident and a tough job if this final outcome brings her joy. I’m guessing that the initial impact came from her right, and comprehensively stoved that side of her head in (as they say up in Newcastle).
Still, it’s great that she’s happy again, despite having to have a skin-coloured strut holding that side of the back of her head on for the rest of her life.
But of course, reconstructive surgery isn’t the only way of bringing joy.
Should you find yourself looking like a crossdressing Mick Jagger whilst in a strange, grey wasteland, then leapfrogging a young child whose head seems to be amongst some really, really tiny chickens, is clearly good for gettin’ you satisfaction.
And, in the unlikely event that you don’t have a surgical team or a young child nearby, you could always twiddle your nipple with your left hand, while giving a Nazi salute with your right… er… claw.
This last one is niche. Very niche. But it’s been depicted so perfectly clearly here that I really can’t imagine that the artist was trying to show us anything else. And presumably, someone will wander into the shop, spot this painting and think:
“It’s so me. I simply HAVE to have it.”
(But in Afrikaans.)
These images were taken a few months ago. But I’m very tempted to (carefully, now I’ve written this), pop back in and see if these have been sold (but if so, to whom?!?), and also see what other delights have been created in the intervening period.
Please watch out for my report over the coming days.
