It’s been a day

I am not a fan of shopping, but I had to do some shopping this morning. Thankfully, I managed to get through the ordeal with minimal fuss, but I’m sure that if there was anyone observing (I doubt that there was), then there was no doubting the displeasure with which I did so.

Anyway, that’s done for another few months.

And once the Boy Wonder is back from his evening activities in about an hour (via Uber Dad), I shall be heading the bed asap. I am knackered. A combination of exercise, age, shopping and just… stuff.

Still, at least I’m still very much alive, apparently unlike Afrikaans.

That latter comment prompting Afrikaans speakers all over… er… South Africa to roll out the #1vandie44 hashtag. (No idea what it means: I’m not one of the 44.)
I love everyone commenting on the language in that piece though, basically saying that yes, Afrikaans pretty much still alive, and then reminding us that (bad thing) it was the language of oppression during Apartheid and (good thing?) it’s really useful for insulting people.

A fairly simplistic binary view of things, but for me (and millions of others), the former probably just about outweighs the latter.

“I’ll be Bok”

Or… “He’ll be Bok”? Or… “Bok’ll be back”?

Ag, I just don’t know, but this is one of the weirdest emails I’ve received recently.

I’m sharing this no because I hold any feelings for the man or his music, but merely because… well… this is one of the weirdest emails I’ve received recently.

Why did they send it to me?

The email consisted solely of this image:

This is basically an advert for Afrikaans singer Bok van Blerk, who sprang to the nation’s attention back in 2007 with his rendition of the potentially divisive Afrikaans anthem De La Rey [youtube], described by The Grauniad thus:

Some see its popularity as the beginnings of a reassertion of Afrikaner identity from the ashes of apartheid. Others view it as an attempt to rebrand Afrikaners from oppressors to victims by casting back to their suffering at the hands of the British as an analogy for the perceived injustices of life under black rule. South Africa’s arts minister, Pallo Jordan, has even warned that the song risks being hijacked by extreme right-wingers as a “call to arms”. One rugby ground tried to ban it but backed down in the face of public outrage.

For reference, here’s Koos de la Rey’s wikipedia page

I’m not diving into the politics and nationalist sentiment stirred up by the song. I just got an advert emailed to me, offering Bok’s attendance at my festival, function or fundraising event. Not, it appears, to sing (thank the heavens), but to describe his life(?) since that song:

Van De La Rey Tot Nou

translates as “From De La Rey to Now”.

Could it be that Louis Andreas Pepler (for that are his real name) has just hit 40 (he has) and has decided to re-evaluate and re-invent himself?

I don’t know and I really don’t care.

And even if I’m right, it still doesn’t explain why I was included on the mailing list.

If you want to book Bok (the Steve Hofmeyr Lite of Afrikaans Politics and the Kurt Darren Lite of Afrikaans Music):

Kontak Lindé: of 082 569 3502.

And if you do, please ask her why she sent me this.

Dans, Dans, [censored] Dans.

Much amusement in Newcastle (no, not that one) OVER the weekend as Afrikaans rapper JACK Parow was escorted off stage halfway through his performance, in order to protect him from a small number of the audience who labelled him “satan slang” (devil snake) and a “disgrace to the Afrikaans language” after he swore on STAGE.

Afrikaans rapper Jack Parow says he is “cool” about being led off the stage midway through a concert in Newcastle when his lyrics upset some in the audience, and that he had a “rad time” regardless.

Parow, whose real name is Zander Tyler, was taken off the stage at the Vodacom Winter Festival on Friday night when a group, upset by his lyrics – which included profanities – physically threatened him.

One man nearly jumped on stage, but was pulled back by police called in to help festival organisers with the group.

A war of words erupted on the Newcastle Newspaper’s Facebook page, with people calling Parow a “satan slang (devil snake)” and a “disgrace to the Afrikaans language”.

Now, I can take OR leave Mnr Parow and I can HAPPILY manage without swearing in my music, but seriously now, what were the audience expecting? It’s like turning UP to a Metallica gig and “hoping they don’t play anything too loud”.
I have kids and I try to shelter them from swearing (amongst other things) as much as possible. That MEANS not taking them along to Jack Parow gigs (amongst other things). No matter HOW backward Newcastle is, the allegation that this performance was instrumental in corrupting their youth is a bit OTT.

Parow, unsurprisingly, was unabashed:

Parow said he was singing his song Dans Dans Dans when the microphone was taken from him by an organiser and he was led off stage. He then noticed police trying to calm a few men beside the stage.

“Some people don’t like the swearing. I was singing ‘Dans, dans f***en dans’. This one guy was shouting at me and said: ‘Why are you f***ing swearing?’, but that was funny because he was swearing at me.”

As you will have noted above, all of this has (typically) reared its head on Facebook, WHERE a couple of comments by Anthon von Lisenborgh have captured the imagination of some individuals and INTRODUCED random CAPITALISATION to popular culture:

The biggest IRONY for me is that Jack Parow’s shortened act followed that of Afrikaner Steve Hofmeyr (and whom Anthon comprehensively fails to accuse of being an “Artist of Satan”), a man perhaps BEST known for his racist rants, being divorced by his wife after having “numerous affairs”, assaulting the female editor of a popular gossip magazine and being described by the Deputy CEO of the South African Institute of Race Relations as being a disgrace to South Africa and of using his “not insignificant following to sow anger and hate among young white people”.

When it comes to role models, it would seem that the Afrikaans culture is struggling somewhat, but while Jack Parow CONTINUES to use the F-word (and he will continue to use the F-word) Anthon seems conveniently blinkered to Mr Hofmeyr’s shortcomings.

UPDATE: A bit more on Anthon – he’s written a book: Apocrypha 999 – The Mystery of Solomon and Queen Bilqis of Sheba – and in his author bio (filled with MORE random capitalisation), he includes THE line:

…do with it as you feel fit or do nothing if you want, it is up to you to decide and not me.

Obviously, the same doesn’t apply to concerts in North West Kwa-Zulu Natal.

Afrikaans Celebrity Voices on your GPS

File under: Titles you never thought you’d see on 6000 miles…

But, anyway:
Local company GPS Creative have been in touch with their latest product range – the perfect gift for a the man (or woman) who has everything this Christmas.

After all – who wants to hear that monotone, computerised american chick giving you directions when you could have the dulcet tones of Minki van der what’s-her-surname-this-week telling you exactly where she wants you to go?

I’d better just clarify – I think you get her voice as an add-on for your GPS, not actually her.
Still – you can dream.

And there are more: Kurt Darren, Oom Kallie Marie, Os du Randt, Pieter Koen, Shaleen Surtie-Richards – not to mention the legendarily ageless Riaan Cruywagen – to mention but a few.
It’s like the pages of HuisGenoot and Sarie (my inspirasie) have come to life and are accurately directing you to hard to find geographical locations.

So click on the banners and get the celebrity voice of your choice at the special rate of R149.95.
And they have an offer on right now: buy one voice and receive Bruno the Bender AND Franco Fontein absolutely FREE!