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I ended up on one of those online “news” sites that exist solely on clickbait headlines and poor reporting. It wasn’t by choice. I wanted to know something and Googled, and – fair play to them – theirs was the only site that came up with a possible answer.

I got what I needed from the article, and then, at the bottom of the article, I had to endure a million* sponsored ads with increasingly bizarre headlines. Who would ever click through on any of these? I know we are a society of timewasters when it comes to online (especially mobile online) things, but… honestly?

This sort of trash…

Rotting bananas. Fruit flies. A beagle with the runs. A higher chance of cartoonesque slippage.

I’m guessing it’s lettuce. (Spoiler: it’s not.)

Yep. Finally some quality as local readers will recognise this regular scene from the Wynberg station as the vehicles come through from the massive SUV factory in… er… Fishhoek. Seems legit.

Thanks, “Kingdom Of Men”. Anyway, I didn’t click, but I’m guessing “hunger, a weird cucumberry odour and a very slight rise in the share price of local cucumber producers”.

Huge, if true. And a massive error by the Romans who clearly thought that he had when they took him down. Absolute amateur hour.

Second hand kettles are given out for huge prices.
Used toasters are shared for free.
Brand new air fryers are allocated via a means-tested price scale.

It means it’s probably got the shits because of all the bananas littering the back garden.

This could be the type of post that just keeps on giving, because there are no shortage of these sort of ads on certain sites. And you don’t have to – and indeed, you mustn’t! – click through to get the screenshot you need.

* rough estimate