Shamans salute dead whales


Sadly, yes.

Yesterday, as a full moon rose over the Cape peninsular, about 120 people gathered at Kommetjie’s Long Beach to honour the whales who were shot there last weekend.
Oblivious to all of this, two whales basked off-shore within sight of the onlookers. Incense smoked and burning candles were arranged in the shape of a fish on the small promenade overlooking the beach,
Local sangoma and shamanic healer Devi Hill banged a Native American drum and chanted a bit as fellow spiritual healer Shelley Ruth Wyndham called on mankind to respect planet Earth.
“We humans are disrupting systems which have taken millions of years to develop,” she said.
She led the small crowd down to the sea where the whales were shot, and the chanting resumed. “We are one, we are one, we are one! Wake up! Wake up! Rise with the rising sun!”
Then night fell.

Andrew Donaldson, Sunday Times

I can’t stand the shallowness of people who attend these kind of events. Hundreds of people are dying each week in SA of malnutrition, HIV, violent crime and other stuff that isn’t included in those three categories that I just mentioned and yet they organise a memorial serivce for some dead whales? Please.
Now I like whales as much as the next man (and I’m assuming he’s not Norwegian or Japanese), but holy crap, these people have got their priorities seriously screwed. And look at the idiots that are doing it. Why have the candles in the shape of a fish? Whales aren’t fish. They’re mammals. Genetically, whales have more in common with Oprah Winfrey than they do with fish, so why not have an outline of a popular American talk-show host on the Prom instead?

And why bang a Native American drum, Devi? What’s wrong with the good old African drum, happily banged for years and years here in Africa? Or were you just showing off amongst your hippie friends? I recognise that “Native American” is a bit of a trump card when it comes to all things spiritual, but rejecting your local heritage is unforgivable.
And Shelley Ruth Wyndham’s rantings are nothing short of idiotic, too. What “systems” (which have taken millions of years to develop) were at play when those stupid animals chose to crash into the beach at Kommetjie? Cos SatNav certainly wasn’t one of them.
And how exactly did we “disrupt” those “systems” by shooting the whales? What were they planning on doing if we’d left them there? Growing legs and sneaking off into Noordhoek to do the Pub Quiz at the Toad in the Village? Leaping up in the dead of night when no-one was looking and opening a successful five-star hotel and spa complex in Misty Cliffs? Or just lying there and suffering unbearable agony until they eventually died?
I know which one my money is on.

Seriously Shelley, stop moaning and get proactive. If humans really are doing so much damage to the planet, then why don’t you do Earth a favour and pop off to join the choir invisible? Every little helps. Can you imagine how much CO2 is chucked out by that incense and those aforementioned inappropriately-shaped candle designs? Or how many small wading birds were unable to get their supper because they were scared off by your fellow idiots’ daft chanting? Talk about disrupting nature.
We aren’t one, Shelley. You and I have as much in common as Jacob Zuma and ‘Dotty’, an eight-week-old Dalmatian puppy living in Walton-on-the-Naze in Essex; as chalk and cheese; as Castle and decent beer. So please don’t think that I am one with you or your foolish friends. Frankly, the thought repulses me.

I really hope that this is the last we hear of those sodding creatures. Yes, it was sad that they crashed into a beach and died. But the incessant whining, accusations and recriminations around the subject are – frankly – beginning to get right on my tits. And this stupid ceremony – as misguided as the whales were a week earlier – really tops it all off. What a waste of time, effort, money and human spirit.
What is this going to do? Is it going to stop whales beaching themselves here or anywhere else again? Is it going to stop them swimming straight back into shore once they are dragged back out to sea? Fools.
If you must do something with your Saturday evening, then make it worthwhile. Make it meaningful. Make it beneficial. Don’t make an arse of yourself by banging a trendy drum and singing on a beach. Because, believe me, crying over dead whales while ankle-deep in ice-cold sea water makes you look like complete idiots.

Linky goodness: Ben Trovato on the Kommetjie Whale Slaughter.  

Note: A whole range of interesting swearwords (across three different languages) were removed from this post before publication, in case my Mum reads it.
This is in keeping with the 6000 miles… terms and conditions as described here.

12 thoughts on “Shamans salute dead whales

  1. beau-ti-ful, exactly the thoughts of so many Capetonians, and I’m not saying that the event wasn’t tragic and sad, but c’mon already, deal with it. I believe that the action taken was humane, and necessary. But hey, each to their own at the end of the day! What mystifies me (mind you, I’m probably mystified by a lot these days) is how someone can be a shaman & a sangoma… um, that just gives a whole new meaning to the ‘oh so lovable afrikaans phrase “sout p…” ooo wait, mothers might be reading.

    Marcel´s last blog post was: boastboy: @mcleodd strange how the garage is the appropriate place to buy wilson’s (Note: 6000 miles… is not responsible for the content of external internet sites)

  2. LoL!!!! no ways, a ceremony? See what a permanent diet of macrobiotic Lentils and Yoghurt mixed with all the Basalt in that mown-tin can do. Run for your lives. Move away now. 🙂

  3. That’s just utterly…ghei. The quote. Not your writing. As always that is lovely.

    I did appreciate the linky goodness though 🙂

    Goblin´s last blog post was: 5 Worst Star Trek episodes ever (Note: 6000 miles… is not responsible for the content of external internet sites)

  4. You f…ing ignorant idiots. Please stay in your ignorant, selfish, unfeeling, materialistic world and leave others who care alone. Those sangomas and shamans are helping plants, animals and people who are suffering on an energetic level (never mind this is something you don’t understand anyway). You have no idea how these people are helping the planet get rid of negative energy (anger, fear, pain and sadness).
    Thanks to ignorant and greed (maybe count yourselves in)this planet is in that backwardstate that it is in. Wake up for God’s sakes. We need more people who care, not those that sit on the fence and criticize those who do.

  5. Marcel > You can be anything if you put your mind to it. Or make sh!t up.

    Chiraag > You think the story is getting stale? What about the whales?

    Andrew > I am unswayed by their silly ideas or the thought of moving away.

    Goblin > Yes, isn’t it? Yes, isn’t it? And yes, I’m sure you did.

    Jo > Thanks for expending some of your negative energy on 6000 miles…, Jo. I await the whales, who are obviously suffering on an energetic level, to be helped in some way by this waste of time ceremony and to come back to life, albeit 40km inland at Vissershoek landfill site. What happens then?

    I am not in any way sitting on the fence on this issue. I think those people are complete loonies.
    Welcome to their club.

  6. And I as a human, dare to live on this earth with maniacs who are so self absorbed, they have a lot of explaining to do, when last have YOU done something to enhance nature, besides contributing lavishly to the sewerage systems of this nomadic land!!! How lame brained are these earthlings!

  7. Here is the copy of the actual speech I delivered on the day of this event. I thank everyone who attended this honouring and appreciate the SA Government meetings and agreements which transpired and resulted in addressing more compassionate treatment regarding the handling of beached Whales, going forward. Please note: Not one of our group was involved whatsoever in creating anything with candles at this event. Here is an account of what actually happened.

    Leave a Reply