Here’s the “roast” of the blog that I promised yesterday. I’m doing this post today, because the site that it comes from has finally decided to start working, like a reticent traffic light at the end of a 4 hour block of loadshedding.
(I wrote that one myself.)
Anyway…
It turns out that there are two main things “wrong ” with the blog: the design, and the words. Given that that pretty much sums up all the bits there are to the blog, that’s a little upsetting, but then, reading the actual comments that the nasty AI left, I’m not actually very perturbed.
6000 Miles From Civilisation… or Just Bad Web Design? The title promises adventure, but the layout screams “abandoned GeoCities page.” It’s like a time capsule from the early 2000s. Is the civilisation you’re running from the internet itself?
Yeah, cos the internet is really civilised, isn’t it? /s
I did actually used to have a GeoCities page, way back in the day. But I’m actaully very happy with the minimalist, uncomplicated design. I hate sites with flashy things flashing and adverts all over the place (that’s one of the reasons that I am constantly turning down cold, hard cash for banner and sidebar ads).
So if this makes it look a bit retro… well…
What’s next? Ah, yes…
“6000 miles from civilisation…”? More like 6000 miles from a decent web designer. The header looks like it was made in MS Paint after a few too many beers.
Actually, this is dangerously accurate.
And while we’re on about the header, Colin gets some honourable mentions:
The Dog: The dog is the only thing that seems to have any personality. I bet the dog has more interesting stories to tell than anything on this site. In fact, the little dog in the header looks like she’s judging the content as much as I am.
The beagle has many interesting stories to tell, but they’re mainly about chasing hadedas and dreaming about some sort of food. Still, knowing the internet, there will definitely be someone out there who would enjoy that sort of stuff more than what I share, but that’s their problem.
And it is a problem.
Again though, not wrong on just how judgmental the beagle is. Its opinions can easily be swayed with a small piece of cheese though, so it’s never really been an issue.
The Content: It’s a blog about… everything and nothing? BBC podcasts, German elections, woodpeckers, horse racing… It’s like a digital stream of consciousness with no filter.
This is meant to be hurtful. I love it. It really is the perfect description of 6000 Miles… Thank you.
The writing style is like a rambling conversation with a slightly grumpy uncle who’s had one too many cups of tea.
It’s usually coffee (or brandy, depending on the hour), but ok. This is absolutely fine. Especially the use of the word “slightly”. I’m quite chuffed by that. Thanks again.
The tags are a chaotic mix of topics, from “elections” to “woodpecker.” It’s like the website threw a keyword salad at the wall and hoped something would stick. Good luck getting found by anyone.
Well, write “about everything and nothing”, share your “digital stream of consciousness with no filter”, and that’s what you get.
And then the nice use of this recent post title.
“It sounds good until you read it”: That’s a perfect description of the website itself. This blog post is a verbose labyrinth of thoughts that could have been condensed into a tweet.
Low hanging fruit. But very good. I almost smiled at this one. But then it obviously didn’t read too far, because then it would know that I don’t do twitter, just like The Stranglers.
And finally:
Overall Impression: This website is a digital time capsule from the early 2000s, and not in a good way. It’s got the charm of a dusty attic and the readability of a ransom note. But hey, at least it’s… unique?
Isn’t a dusty attic quite charming? Intriguing? Full of character and mystery? Loads of potentially interesting stuff to be discovered?
And isn’t a ransom note rather straightforward, and also really, really important to read?
And then “unique”? Who wants the same blog as anyone or everyone else?
These are just compliments. You’re doing it wrong.
I think this roast is the thing than needs roasting here.