I was wandering through Facebook yesterday when this popped up:

I was rather concerned, because these are allegedly targeted ads* and I’m not the kind of guy who needs a Premium Silicone Ring (honest).
Oh, and I’m not into archery, either.
At first, I thought that it was that thing attaching his wrist to the bow, and I was intrigued as to what sort of positive effect a Premium Silicone Ring would have on an archer.

It was only after clicking through that I realised that it’s the thing around his ring finger.
It’s literally a rubber ring.

The website does seem to assume a good deal of prior knowledge, but basically, it appears that these are posh tap washers with which you replace your wedding ring when you are doing something that might be adversely affected by your wearing of a wedding ring.

Like holding a baby:

New Parents – Will not scratch or pinch your new baby

like a wedding ring then. Or:

Attorneys, airport staff, security personnel – do not have to take them off when passing metal detectors

like a wedding ring then. Or:

Chefs and kitchen staff – Hygienic, safe and easy to clean

Seriously, I’ve had two new babies of our own, and I’ve held many more from friends and family and I’ve yet to scratch or pinch one with a ring. I’ve been through countless metal detectors and I’ve had to take off my shoes and belt, but never my wedding ring. And yes, traditional wedding rings are hygienic, safe and easy to clean. Who knew?

Do people really scratch babies and set off metal detectors with their rings?
This is news to me.

Work and sport stuff is a bit different, I suppose.

Mechanics – makes access into tight spaces easier, easier to clean – does not create a short!
Woodworkers – Safer when working with rotating machinery

Fair enough, but is there a real need to wear any sort of ring when you’re wrist deep in a gearbox or fiddling with a lathe? Just take it off!

Rugby players – Safe comfortable and permissible jewellery in competition

Because it’s always important to let the hooker know you’re a married man (careful now). Talking of which – there’s a His and Her’s [sic] Combo Set.

Don’t forget your better half! Buy a His and Her’s set. Also perfect for a soon to be wed couple – so they don’t take their valuable new bling with them on honeymoon.

Because there’s generally nothing a Bride wants more than to hide her wedding ring away as soon as she’s hitched.

Step up your game. Our Original Silicone Rings are a classic and timeless take on silicone rings. Each of our silicone rings are made from the finest grade silicone, providing comfort and style. Our Silicone rings will serve as the perfect silicone wedding band or as your active lifestyle ring, whether you are on the job, in the gym or conquering the great outdoors.

Are they actually punting these as an alternative to a traditional wedding ring?

“I love you so much, darling, and I always will. Here’s R140 worth of UV-stable, brightly coloured rubber.
Why, yes: it does look like something you might get from a Checkers Christmas Cracker, but you can wear it while you’re swimming. Much like a gold wedding ring. But cheaper.
Much, much cheaper.
Darling? Darling?!?
Where did she go?”

I dunno. Maybe I’ve missed the boat on these Premium Silicone Rings, but I really think that what they’ve done is to come up with a product that nobody needs, while attempting to conceal that fact by coming up with a number of implausible scenarios in which their product will allegedly outperform a metal ring.

It’s nonsense and will never sell.

Mind you, we shouldn’t overlook the fact that Power Balance bracelets were once a thing.


* Why am I seeing this ad?
One reason why you’re seeing this ad is that Freeform Silicone Rings wants to reach people interested in Hunting, based on activity such as liking Pages or clicking on ads.

There may be other reasons why you’re seeing this ad, including that Freeform Silicone Rings wants to reach people aged 25 to 45 who live in South Africa. This is information based on your Facebook profile and where you’ve connected to the Internet.
Eish. Broad brush.

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