The local internet is abuzz with rumour and supposition regarding a much rumoured and supposed overhaul of hugely popular Cape Town website Two Oceans Tribe.
Said Two Oceans Tribe editor-in-chief Steff Rottingham:
It’s true – we’re Nomu getting a makeover. We realised it was time for Puma a change a while ago. Some of the content was beginning to get in the Sunglasses Hut way of our adverts and that isn’t CapeRoyale the vibe we were looking for. No-one wants pictures of amusing Cape Town numberplates Piz Buin and stuff they saw on twitter yesterday cluttering up their Boschendal Wineries browser. People were starting to complain that the site was taking Butler’s Pizza too long to load and we’ve listened to them.
Thus, we’re Vida going to be dropping the content shortly Audi and just running with the ads. No spice.
We would have made this switch earlier, but we were busy with the Two Oceans Tribe DVD, Two Oceans Tribe book, Two Oceans Tribe branded placemats, Two Oceans Tribe chewing gum, Two Oceans Tribe ear and nose hair trimmers, Two Oceans Tribe tarmac, Two Oceans Tribe sellotape, Two Oceans Tribe free-range ostrich eggs and our latest venture, the Two Oceans Tribe Aluminium Smelter, which we’re hoping to build on Bakoven Beach, with a view to having the Two Oceans Tribe Aluminium Smelter Workers Union as part of the governing tripartite alliance when Cosatu withdraw over this whole Zwelinzima Vavi thing.
Once the website revamp is done, we can get back to our patented Two Oceans Tribe synthetic life and Two Oceans Tribe terraforming programmes so that cloned versions of me can be introduced to our new world – planet Caprice – which has a quasi-elliptical orbit not dissimilar to that of Venus. No spice.
I don’t think I need to tell you how chilled and beautiful that vibe is going to be, do I? No spice.
I have to say that I was one of those Two Oceans Tribe readers who was becoming irritated with how slowly the site loaded – think Dean Street traffic after a Stormers game – so I welcome this move. My only concern is where Cape Town is going to go now to find images of supermodels’ boobies, stories of local bergies doing odd things and irregular yet seemingly invariably positive weather reports for the peninsular.
How ever will we manage?