Guess who’s back?

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Ah Jesus. The #RBOSS King returns.

So crispy!

Someone’s been toying with (and by “toying with”, I mean “ramming up to 100”) the dehaze slider to make this image look brighter and more dramatic than it actually was. Look at the telltale white halo around the dark parts of the image when you zoom in:

That’s not straight out of the camera, now is it?

It could be a lovely image. It probably even was. But why even bother taking a photo of something so beautiful if you then immediately choose to digitally annihilate it just for clicks and likes?

It’s not all roses

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Ironically, after my post about motivation yesterday, I could really do with some today.

It’s not been a good one: unexpected rain after I washed the car, a terrible United performance yesterday evening, a really late night watching having to sit through it, a postponed football game of my own, a broken wireless printer, 37 pages of photocopying to be done on that same broken wireless printer (and the book is too big for the flatbed glass), someone turning up late for work because they chose to go to the supermarket rather than be on time, someone else turning up for work two days after they should have been here but it’s raining today so they can’t do much, a PicknPay supervisor too busy playing on Facebook on his phone to void a price on the till.

The list goes on.

Just all very crap.

I’m so ready for bed and to start afresh tomorrow when things surely can’t be this frustrating again, but I still have half a day to get through.

This will not end well.

Motivation

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Motivational quotes.

There was once a time when they adorned the walls of each and every office you entered, including those of deeply uncool scientific academia. And if they had penetrated that far into nerdiness, than you know that they must have been popular.

Those days have long gone now, and the motivational quotes have been replaced, in many cases (especially those of scientific academia) by memes. You have to be a bitcoin-mining, entrepreneurial LinkedIn fanatic who wakes each morning a 4am to do meditations and emails, and enjoys equal numbers of coffees and organic smoothies before a lunchtime power stance hour, to still be into motivational quotes.

Which probably explains why they remain so popular in Cape Town.

I have a couple of social media friends who still share them, though. And because they’re not my thing (the quotes, not the friends) when I see them, more often than not, I tend to dissect them a little.

Like this one:

It’s some moss. Mostly out of focus moss. I hope your climb wasn’t actually too hard if that’s “the best view” that they’re referring to. Really, who’s that going to impress? Bryologists*, sure, but not if they’ve left their glasses at the bottom of the mountain. And if that’s the view they’ve got, then that’s clearly (no pun intended) what’s happened.

“Sometimes a hug is worth more than a thousand words.” Wow.

Look, I get it. Absolutely. In some situations, any number of words will never be enough, and all one needs is a little physical contact. But there needs to be some sort of disclaimer here. My son read this, and now he’s ended up in detention for not doing his English essay and then cuddling his teacher**.

But at least the background image on that one fits. Just look at this:

I mean, what’s that clearly recently-fed lion got to do with this? Is this supposed to be advice for the now legless impala that he’s just partially devoured? And let’s just look at that quote:

“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

Yeah, don’t give up, no matter what life throws at you. No matter how many challenges there are and no matter how desperate the situation seems.

Just. Keep. Going.

But… firstly, this surely demonstrates a degree of extreme clumsiness. Who falls down seven times? It seems excessive. Have you been drinking? Just take stock of your situation and surroundings after the first tumble or two. Give it a moment. Hold a railing or something solid. Maybe even just hug someone.
You probably won’t fall over another five times. And that’s got to be a good thing.

And secondly, surely “Fall down seven times, stand up seven” would make a lot more sense, no? Why – and how – are you going to stand up on that last time? You’re already standing, because you stood up seven times after you fell down seven times. Down, up, down, up etc etc, right?
Now what? How do you stand up again from a standing position? I can only surmise that maybe you were already lying down before the first fall? But then it would definitely offer some clarity if it were to say “Stand up once, fall down seven times, stand up seven”. Probably not as catchy though.

And while we’re on the subject:

Yes, we’ve been through the falling down thing. But the choice bit? Well, not if you’ve broken your legs. Imagine: there you are at the bottom of the stairs, blood and bones, snot en trane everywhere and someone wanders over to tell you this? I’d make the effort to stand up for an eighth time just to punch them squarely in the face (before collapsing in agony).

Anyway, I hope that these four images and this post have filled you with motivation for the rest of your day. Remember: always think positive! (unless you’re at the STD clinic).

* yes, I had to look this up.

** obviously, this is a made up situation for attempted comedic value only.

Two Photos

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I alluded to a good football score on the weekend, but I didn’t go into detail. Unable to watch because of the dodgy internet in the deep, dark wilds of deepest, darkest, wildest Africa (well, the very bottom bit of it anyway), I chose to nap the afternoon away, and catch up with the news at the end.

And what great news it was. But it was a couple of social media posts from the club which really brought home to me just what a special afternoon I had missed.

Here’s Jack Robinson (left) who – after a personally horrific first half – got our third goal. Yes, the passion and the relief is clearly evident, and Oli McBurnie looks like a naughty schoolboy running away having just chucked a stink bomb into the staff room, but the photographer getting the big screen in the background is what really makes this image so good.

And then the aftermath of that duo running to celebrate in the corner. (Is that the previous photographer bottom left?) (And is Oliver Norwood levitating?)

But everywhere you look: happiness, joy, unbridled glee. From the ball boy at the front to the dad missing the high five with his son on the left, and the chilled, gilet-wearing surfer dude in the grey beanie who is just taking in the moment. (I’m excusing the steward with the corner flag lodged in his chin – that must be painful). It’s another really great shot.

Football is a sport that often brings out the best (ok, and the worst) of passion in people, but we need more of this exaltation and delight in our lives, especially when you look around at what else is going on in the world right now. 90 minutes of escapism each and every Saturday afternoon seems like a very good idea.

I just wish I could have been there for this one.