TPM issues

My TPM device could not be detected and that’s caused all sorts of issues with my laptop, and I need to get back to trying to fix it, so this post will be shorter than usual.

[collective sighs of relief from readers worldwide]

But aside from that Trusted Platform Module problem (for that is what it are), it’s been a rather good day.

Best of all from my point of view were the results of my daughter’s Grade 5 Vocal exam (a thundering pass with bells on), the Boy Wonder being invested (is this the right word?) [UPDATE: it’s “inducted”] as a prefect at school, and my fastest 5km since before my watch can remember.

That’s me. Red and shiny after going too fast.

Right. Back to manually updating the BIOS.
What could go wrong?

No. Just no.

It’s the last day of real football today, before we go into this weird, unwanted Qatar World Cup break for the next month or so. Look, I will be watching – because it’s football – but I don’t think that I’ve ever been more disengaged and uninterested in any World Cup in my whole life. And I was only 8 months old for one of them.

Actually, the break could not have come at a better time for Sheffield United, as we might be able to get a few players back from injury while they aren’t playing thirteen matches a week to fit the tournament in. And the injury list is long: Daniel Jebbison, Jack O’Connell, Jayden Bogle, Max Lowe, Oli McBurnie, Rhian Brewster, Rhys Norrington-Davies (who should be on a plane to Qatar with the Welsh squad), Sander Berge, Tommy Doyle, Jack Robinson, Anel Ahmedhodzic and John Fleck. That’s more than an entire first team unavailable because they are broken. We started yesterday’s game with an academy player in midfield, and two more on the bench, and even then we had to add an extra goalkeeper to make up the numbers. Carnage.

(Still won, though.)

So that’s the only positive for me, but that doesn’t stop the constant stream of businesses and organisations trying to make me be interested. The latest one of those is Facebook. And they are very clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel with this nonsense:

Which team will have more corners? wut?

This assumes that a) I am interested in the World Cup, b) I am interested in England v Iran, c) I am interested in how many corners each team will get, and d) my extensive footballing acumen would allow me to predict such a meaningless statistic anyway.

But hey, Joãozin Albuquerque and 5.8M others are playing…

I have no idea who Joãozin Albuquerque is, by the way.

If you’re watching a World Cup (or any other) game just to see who gets the most corners, you’re either part of a match-fixing cartel or you’re doing football all wrong. Both of which do kind of fit with the whole Qatar 2022 vibe, but that’s really beside the point.

Just stop trying to make this happen. It’s not going to happen. Leave me alone.

The Top 3 Worst Loadshedding Slots

Yes, all of loadshedding is annoying, but as George Orwell once stated:

Some slots are more annoying than others.

An amazingly prescient (and suspiciously specific) man.

Anyone who has experienced rolling blackouts will be in agreement with this and, since several (or more) of the Northern Hemisphere countries are about to give it a go, I thought I’d warn my readers up there about which slots are really going to get their blood boiling (on a hand-lit gas stove, rather than in a kettle, obviously).

Here in SA, our loadshedding slots last for two hours followed by a half hour (dis)grace period for the power to be reinstated. And you might get anywhere between zero and four of these each day, depending on just how scarily precarious our power system is. These slots can – and do – strike at any time, day or night. But some are more irritating than others. Here are the three worst slots for two hours(+) of loadshedding.

At number 3 is 22:00 – 00:30.

Look, you could treat this as being a good opportunity to just go to bed early and get some more sleep. But there’s a reason that you wanted to stay up past 10pm. Maybe it was to do some stuff or – more likely – watch some football. During the summer months here, this slot sits right across all the midweek football matches from Mud Island, and is very frustrating for this reason alone. And then also for several others.

Moving up on second base behind Nicholas van Whats-his-face (applause if you can place that lyric without the use of Ask Jeeves or some such) is 06:00 – 08:30.

Because there is nothing nice about waking up in darkness and having to make tea and coffee, do the packed lunch run, get the kids out of bed and off to school, and get the beagle fed in darkness. Obviously, with the sun rising at about 5:30 here at the moment, the irritation is a little bit mitigated, but overall, this remains almost the most annoying couple of hours of power cuttery.

But.

THE MOST ANNOYING LOADSHEDDING SLOT IS [drum roll]

20:00 – 22:30

Yep. I said it. Look at the smug bastard, sitting right in the middle of your primetime evening enjoyment.
Your happy time of the day. Ruined.

First off, the 8pm start time is a complete git. No matter what time of the year, this will be dark in Cape Town. Even in summer (just). So no escaping without lighting of some sort. Candles, oil lamps, battery LEDs, they all work: it’s just a shlep to have to carry them around with you wherever you go.
Baie frustrasie.
It’s not like 8pm is an acceptable time to just give up on a normal day and go to bed. It’s too early. You’re not 10 years old any more. Your knees have been reminding you of that for a while now.

And then, look at what time it finishes. 10:30pm. What are you supposed to do then? That’s the sort of time you actually do want to think about going to bed, but now you’ve got two hours of missed stuff to catch up on. And even if you were going to stay up for the footy (see above), you’ve missed some (or more) of the game.

This particular loadshedding slot was the devised by Beelzebub Himself, and sent to test us to our very limits. And it did, just yesterday evening. Flipping annoying. Almost so completely infuriating that you’re willing to forgive all the other slots.

Almost.

Anyway, you might have your own opinions on this, but they’re probably not as valid as mine, so I’ll stick with my reasoning and conclusions above unless you can come up with something quite remarkable to support your case. And then probably after that, as well.

Rookie mistake

Early days, but we need to get over to the UK next year at some point, and it makes sense to tie it in with another trip to Europe that’s happening in 2023. It needs a bit of organisation, with our family being distributed liberally across the continent at some points, so I’m making a start on checking out our options now.

But then, I made the mistake of looking at potential flights and hotels without using Incognito Mode.

And now every single advert on every single site I visit on every single device I own (including the hoover) is for a flight or a hotel. Everywhere.

Yes, I could use an ad-blocker, but usually, I’m rarely bothered by ads, so I don’t have one of those. But I’m thinking of doing something to remedy that, given that there are Croatian hotels and flights to Slovenia.

I never even looked for those destinations, so not only are the ads annoying, they’re also inaccurate and unhelpful.

I’m an idiot to make such a foolish error, and I’m sharing this here so you don’t have to endure the same crap each time you go near an internet.

1981 photos of Boris Johnson as a teen magazine model

Yep. Exactly that.

There are some of the images that DALL E:

An artificial intelligence tool that’s stunned people with its ability to render text into realistic images

has come up with. This via the excellent r/weirddalle subreddit. And yes, it looks just like he’s in Just Seventeen (although that only started in 1983, so…) or some such:

or:

But check out the hands here (and in several others of the set here). AI might be able to pull out that 1981 stuff, get the teen model look and nail the fuzzy magazine imagery, but it still can’t do hands!

Or maybe necks in that second picture.