Eat. Pray. Love. Best. Review. Ever?

I don’t do films but I did (belatedly) catch sight of an abridged version of Peter Bradshaw’s review of Eat Pray Love today and it made me smile.

Sit, watch, groan. Yawn, fidget, stretch. Eat Snickers, pray for end of dire film about Julia Roberts’s emotional growth, love the fact it can’t last for ever. Wince, daydream, frown. Whimper, moan, grimace. Wriggle, writhe, squirm. Seethe, growl, rage.

This is merely a cleverly written variant of the same feelings that I have heard from Mrs 6k, friends and colleagues who have had the misfortune of wasting several hours of their lives with Ms Roberts.

Does anyone know anyone who actually liked this film?

Jacques puts matters straight

I’m only an occasional reader of the Mail & Guardian, but when I do give myself the opportunity and can find the time, it’s generally an interesting read. Last week I was rather shocked and disappointed by Andile Mngxitama’s column “The face of white supremacy” in which the writer accused Gareth Cliff of being racist for – as far as I could work out, anyway – no apparent reason save for his own desperation to call somebody (white), a racist.
I should also say that if was not just the content of the column, but also Nic Dawes’ decision to publish such nonsense that left me feeling a little bewildered.

When I raised the matter on twitter, I wasn’t the only one finding myself in that mindframe: the erudite Jacques Rousseau informed me that he had written a rebuttal to Mngxitama’s column, (which would be far more articulate than anything I could ever write) and which he hoped would be published this week.

Well, it was, and it is brilliant. A perfect mix of rationality and justified ridicule, all dished up with a garnish of mild sarcasm:

Of course, Mngxitama’s argument relies on something called “anti-racist decoding”. I regret that I’ve never drunk as deeply from the well of postmodernism as Mngxitama has, because this decoding appears to fall outside of my sphere of competence, leaving me with only the suspicion that he’s talking nonsense.

I would heartily recommend a read of it if you can get hold of some dead tree. (But then I would say that, because I am white.)
I’ll put the link up as soon as it is available online. Here it is.
If it was up already, no-one would buy the paper, see?

Going Postal

Incoming from The Telegraph:

Finland’s postal service is to begin opening household mail and sending scanned copies of letters by email to cut down on costs and pollution.

Yep:

Not even the most intimate love letters, payslips, overdue bills and other personal messages will be spared under the controversial scheme.
The service, aimed at cutting the number of postmen and reducing CO2 emissions in the sparsely-populated country, is being offered on a voluntary basis initially.
Volunteers will receive an email or a mobile phone text message as soon as their paper mail has been opened, scanned and sent as an electronic image to a secure digital mailbox, to which only the intended recipient has access.

This is nothing new to us in South Africa. In fact, it seems to me that this Finnish system is based on the SAPO setup which has been running for many years. Our local version is  less helpful and more annoying though.
Here, letters and parcels are scanned for any items of value which are then removed to cut down on deliveries and recipient happiness. Nothing is spared this treatment: birthday cards, cash, kid’s presents from overseas etc.

Further parallels with Finland’s trial exist as the sender will send emails and text messages to the recipient complaining about the thieving bastards at the Post Office.

Good value?

Much anger this week in South Africa as it emerged that the cost of police protection for ANCYL President Julius Malema for 12 months to October 2010 was R886,668.54 – once again, people are ranting first and then (not) thinking later.

In a written reply to a parliamentary question by Pieter Groenewald of the Freedom Front Plus, Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa said the VIP protection was provided from October 23 last year to October 11 this year.
Two close protectors at a time were provided, and the cost totalled R886 668,54, he said.

Now, I’m not saying that R886,668.54 isn’t a lot of wonga – it’s equivalent to $128,500 or £80,460 – and that sort of money can do a lot of good in a country like South Africa. But then, it’s not simply the amount of outlay that determines worth: one must also take into account the value which that service provides.

…at which point every angry whitey in the country dives in and tells us it’s worth nothing – you only have to check out some of the comments on that article:

Utter waste. As a taxpayer I am beginning to get more and more upset at the way this government wastes money; perhaps a tax revolt is in order?

Waste of money yes, perhaps not quite as popular as he thinks he is.

etc etc etc…

But let’s stop and think about the moment that some angry Afrikaner (or any other) is finally pushed over the edge by the latest instalment of Julius’ seemingly constant inflammatory chatter, goes to his gun safe, takes out his legally-owned firearm and heads down to the ANCYL roadshow as it passes through his Free State town to show his displeasure in a very public, very final way.

And then let’s consider the consequences of that for this country. Unpretty.

There would be those who would say that Malema has put himself in that position with his style of speech and I wouldn’t disagree. There will be still others who argue that because he puts himself in that position, he should pay for his own protection. I don’t think that’s such a bad idea either.
But because of his public nature and the implications were he offed by unhappy person, I think the government has a responsibility to protect him.
And that responsibility is to the country, not to Mr Malema.

I recognise that this is probably a pretty unpopular viewpoint, but there was the perfect example of this situation in the UK just yesterday with the violence at the student protest in London. Had the police initially come out in force, they would have been criticised for their unnecessary over the top reaction and the consequent “waste of taxpayers’ money”. But now they find themselves in a worse situation: having to explain why they were seemingly unprepared for the apparently unforeseen violence which accompanied the demonstrations – and why they failed to prevent it.

And that was just a few broken windows, not a civil war.

I Spy

This morning, before playschool, I was invited to play a game of “I Spy” by my 2-year old daughter.
Of course I agreed – it would be like shooting fish in a barrel – or so I thought.

“I spy my eye beginning with B,” she abbreviated. The “B” was pronounced phonetically.
I spied. That was – after all – the nature of the game.

“Bowl?”
“No.”

“Bear?”
“No.”

“Banana,” I indicated the half eaten fruit on the table, “which you should have finished, by the way.”
“No.”

Despite the fair size of the room and the wide variety of objects within it, I was already running out of options.

“It’s round,” she said.
I glanced over to the far corner: “Ah! Ball!”
“No.”

Irritated that I hadn’t guessed it first go and now anxious to get her off to playschool before anyone found out about this, I gave in.
“What is it, then?”

“Apple.”

1-0 to her.