Return of the Mac

Remember Guy MacLeod of Plumstead? Of course you do. He was the guy that wrote to the local paper comparing Jacob Zuma with Princess Di. I did take the mickey a bit, but in one way (most especially the comparison that he made, rather than the ones I suggested), Guy was right. They both appeal to the public (known locally as the masses) and it makes them both very popular figures with every chance of taking on the ANC Presidency and presumably therefore being President of South Africa in 2009.

Well, JZ anyway – Di is dead like Elvis.

If you read the post, you’ll see that Guy dragged me out of a period of not writing. Perhaps I did the same to him. After he commented on my infamous Big South African Crime Post, he appears to have been inspired. Another letter to the Argus and it appears that Guy thinks that criminals have had their day!

Imagine if anyone (including a burglar or hijacker) placed his/her hand on a “technologically treated” door handle on which you have a chemical/electrical imprint indiscernibly placed but which lasts for days or weeks and is satellite-trackable? Criminals will be unable to hide!

This isn’t actually so far away, I guess. We already have datadot which is the vehicular equivalent and which seems to be having an effect, despite not really catching on just yet. But hang on. There’s more…

Better still is the next generation development where an individual’s criminal thoughts can be identified by a remote control “intelligence base” – well before the criminal act is implemented, so that counter measures can be taken.

Hmm. These “counter measures” worry me. I hope they’re not monitoring what I’m thinking right now… But wait, there’s… even more!

And a later development that enables the central intelligence base, at the touch of a button, to trigger an instantly disabling electrical charge that also also serves as an effective remote-controlled punishment for premeditated serious crime.

Argh. Mnnurgh Mnuff.

Mnnnnnnn. Mn.

Sorry – I’m back. Not sure what happened there. Or how I ended up twisted on the floor like John Travola gone wrong. It also appears that I have a slight nosebleed.

Sadly, I think these wonderful ideas from the realms of Fortress and Demolition Man (both of which were on the TV last night – hmm) are about as fanciful as Superman coming to save the earth next Tuesday (Monday is a public holiday) or me getting this blog sorted out by February.

February 2009.

Meanwhile, according to K Dawson (also of Plumstead) there are more pressing matters to be attended to. “K” – if that is its real name – has noticed at the turnstiles at Cape Town Station:

… you are met by only two people manning two turnstiles at rush-hour, with a no-care attitude. And I have noticed that people of a certain race are left to go through without their tickets being verified properly.

Well K, if they singled you out for being white(?) then it sounds like they are at least paying some attention. But well done for getting this out in the open now. 50 years down the line, you’d be writhing on your carpet just for thinking about writing something like that.

What’s going on?

It’s an excellent question. I haven’t got a clue.

Basically, there were problems with Fasthosts – my hosting company – and they went a bit mental and scrambled everyone’s passwords before mailing them (in ye olde piece of paper in an envelope way) out. I got an email from their (and I kid you not) Director of Customer Experience telling me about this.
So I set up here at WordPress, but then WordPress locked me out; apparently due to an “over-zealous anti-spam plug-in”. So many hyphens.
And then to add injury to insult, I had a multiple disc prolapse. That’s discs in my back, not a computer issue.

Normal service will be resumed just as soon as I work out what normal service is. Or was. In the meantime, you can be kept abreast (snigger) of the latest via my RSS feed, which will be updated from whichever place I write at next. Which, in this case, is both.


It seems likely that I will be moving over to WordPress, but there are some pressing issues which would need to be addressed first – hosting, comments, archiving etc. Fortunately (for me, not for him) I have a technical guru who is a bit of a whizz with such things.
What the Guru says, goes. Such is the power of the Guru.Crossposted at the ballacorkish.net/6000 bit of this site.

Confused? Good. Join the club.

The doctor will see you now…

Here’s the post that I was going to put onto 6000 miles last night, but couldn’t.
Ha – you’d thought you’d escaped, didn’t you?

No. No-one escapes the long arm of Doctor Perez…

In the letter box this morning…

Dr Perez will help you out

Dr Perez – He can do magic. (click for bigger)

May I draw your attention in particular to three unfortunate claims:

Need to take long in action (24 hr results)
It was long ago that I last claimed to understand the female mind. It’s a foolish thing for a male of the opposite sex to try and comprehend or predict. But even I feel confident in suggesting that 24 hours “action” might be a little too lengthy for most ladies. In a single stint anyway.
Presumably, if one were to actually attempt such a feat, one would have to plan in advance and have food and drink readily to hand (I’d avoid garlic). A completed sponsor form for an abused women’s charity would probably also be appropriate. And you’d have to set the video to avoid missing your favourite shows. In addition, from a male perspective, try to plan the session over a Thursday evening when there’s unlikely to be any decent footy on.

Also:

Women who can not produce Female discharge
I’m gathering that the good doctor is actually claiming to cure two separate ailments here – infertility and well… female discharge. But could he not have separated them a little better? It’s just confusing.

And:

Need to control your speed of reaching orgasm premature (24 hr doze results)Yes. Nodding off for an entire day will almost certainly delay orgasm. Anyway – there’s a “100% refund if it fails”, so why not give him a call and see if he can help you with your problems? The International Dialling Code for South Africa is +27. And drop the first zero. Let me know how you get on. (And if you’re able to get back off again afterwards)…

6000 on tour?

And lo, it came to pass that fasthosts.co.uk messed up on hosting 6000 miles from civilisation due to “security issues” which took us all briefly back to the mid 19th century.

I may expand on these issues later. I may not. It all depends. Firstly on whether they can be speedily resolved and secondly on whether I actually can understand what they were in the first place.
In the meantime, thanks to this guy, you can continue to read my witterings. I’m grateful. You’re distraught. Life’s like that. You’ll get over it. 

Right now, I’m merely trying to understand what’s going on here. Apparently, this is a hosted wordpress blog, no less and I’ll “have lots of learning to do this weekend“,  but once I “get to know WordPress,” I “may want to stick with it!“.  

Hmm.

The virtual world seems a ridiculously complex place for a part-timer like me right now. Yes. I am an interwebs charlatan and I have been cruelly exposed by the errors of those supposedly in the know.

So who knows how long I’ll stay here at wordpress? Thankfully, all you have to do is type in www.6000.co.za into that little window at the top of your browser and you’ll be brought here, there or wherever I happen to be that week. And I’ll see what I can do about an RSS feed as well.

Meanwhile – keep reading. You might miss something important.

Guy MacLeod of Plumstead – an inspiration

*subject to ongoing editing* 

Hi – I’m playing with old posts from the ballacorkish.net site.  You may have read this previously. Feel free to read it again though. Especially as Sunday approaches.

I’ve been busy and disinclined to write much on here of late. Until now.
My writer’s block has been lifted, cured, relieved if you will, by Guy MacLeod of Plumstead.

A little background for you readers outside the borders of this rainbow nation and its political soap-opera:The ruling party in SA is the African National Congress (ANC). The leader of the ANC – and therefore the President of the country – is Thabo Mbeki. Thabo took over from Nelson (yes – that Nelson) in 1999, then won the 2004 election. This means that he is constitutionally obliged to step down as President at the 2009 election.
So we need a new President, who will presumably also be the leader of the ANC.
With me so far? Good.
Enter Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma – JZ to his friends. And to his enemies.
JZ is deputy president of the ANC and was deputy president of the country until Thabo sacked him in 2005 over pending corruption charges (which are still pending). 6 months later, he was also accused of rape and was acquitted in a high-profile case, which was infamously supposed to have included his admission that he took a shower after sex to protect himself from HIV.
He has huge support from the left wing of the ANC, the ANC Youth League, the SA Communist Party and the Trade Unions. He also has a now trademark song which we get a rendition of at every gathering – Mshini Wam or “Bring Me My Machine Gun”.
Nice.
Finally – Thabo and JZ are going head to head in December for leadership of the ANC and therefore presumably, for the Presidency of the country in 2009. And it looks like JZ is going to win. And here’s where Guy MacLeod of Plumstead comes in. He wrote to the Cape Argus newspaper.
Judging by his name (always a dangerous thing to do), Guy is a whitey.
But while many whiteys are pretty terrified to the point of hysteria of the consequences of the seemingly inevitable JZ win:
“SA will be another Zimbabwe”
“He’ll rape us in a corrupt manner and then take a shower”
“We’re all going to die” etc etc.
Guy takes another view. A refreshing view. A view which has got me writing here again today.
He compares the male, black, alive, allegedly corrupt, bald, machine gun toting, HIV-naive Zulu with… Princess Diana. In case you’re not familiar with this “Princess Diana” figure*, she is female, white, blonde and British. Oh – and dead.
Take it away, Guy:

I would like to compare him most favourably with that wonderful other world celebrity [?!? – 6000] and people’s person (also often maligned) – the late Princess Diana. Lady Di “blotted her copybook” in many ways and she flouted convention but she never lost the common touch.

Guy – I never saw it before, but I think you may have hit upon something big. There are questions to be answered: Perhaps JZ is the reincarnation of Diana? Are we to expect him to stroke lepers and defuse landmines next? Could he even shed some light on what happened in that tunnel in Paris? Was he pregnant by Dodi Fayed at the time? And if so, did either of them shower after the act? Where did Prince Harry’s ginger hair come from?

Guy MacLeod of Plumstead, much like JZ and Princess Diana, you are an inspiration to us all.

*Unlike most of the upper class males in Britain