Blades wins poll “fairly overwhelmingly”

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Yes, I clicked through on this Sport24 story thinking it had something to do with Sheffield United. It didn’t.

Instead, I learned that Hugh “Blades” Bladon had been voted SA’s favourite rugby commentator in a poll on the Sport24 website.

Apparently Hugh’s was a “landslide victory”, polling, as he did, 34% of the vote. His win was described by the site as being “fairly overwhelming”.

Can something really be “fairly overwhelming”? Isn’t that like being “a bit unique”? Surely when wanting to downplay the meaning of “overwhelming” somewhat, you should just use the word “whelming”?

Not an April Fool

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I seriously thought this was an April Fool, but it’s two days too late.

This has been all over the UK internet already, but I thought I should share it with my SA readers. And yes, I know. It’s from the Daily Mail – 6000 miles… favourite paper. But it still left me incredulous.

On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne.
“This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,” she explained.
You’re probably thinking “what a lovely surprise”. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.

Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris.
Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.

And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

Yep – this is the opening from this “story”, detailing the “downsides to looking this pretty”, according to Samantha Brick.

I actually can’t do it justice, featuring, as it does, photo captions such as:

Blushing bride: Samantha on her wedding day, left, and right, at home with Pascal. She laments that not one of her girlfriends has ever asked her to be a bridesmaid – perhaps from fear of being overshadowed by her looks.

and lines like:

I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.

I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.

You women can be such bitches, hey?

But wait – there’s more! So (and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this), go to the Daily Mail website and read this amazing article for yourself. Let me know what you think, please.

UPDATE: The twitter parody account has arrived.

UPDATE 2: Newsthump’s view and here. (Thanks Maggie)

Some Science

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That “getting towards the end of summer feeling” is upon Cape Town. It actually rained last week and the night time temperatures are regularly dropping into the depths of the mid-teens. With this period of mild moistness comes the plague of mosquitoes. Not billions of them, necessarily, but just one or two all up in ur bedroomz, dizturbin ur sleepz and drinkin ur bloodz. I’ve mentioned before that I am the primary victim in our household and this hasn’t changed. What has changed is the my body’s reaction to these bites. Each one now produces an erythemic reaction anything up to 4cm in diameter. And the itching. The itching…

Previously, I had always thought that this was down to Immunoglobulin E and the degranulation of Mast cells, but the reason given on this infographic I found seems far more plausible.

Presumably, you’re scratching like I am now.
And that’s a good thing, because sharing is caring. 

Up The Junction…

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A trip to Agulhas this weekend abandoned for technical reasons, we took the kids to Ratanga Junction today – and what a day we had. While I hadn’t been to the park as a proper visitor before (I was there for some corporate do back in 2004, but had three prolapsed discs at the time), Mrs 6000 had taken the kids along over the summer holidays this year, and they’d had a great time. But they had stuck around Hippo Hollow, doing the kiddies stuff.

It was while we were doing the kiddies stuff today that Alex noticed a giant tap attached to a tower and I used his curiosity to get him up and onto the Stargazer: A “supertubes” ride that you do in a tiny inflatable boat. We went down at high speed, Dad got a very wet bum and Alex couldn’t wait to have another go.

From that point, there was no turning back. Suddenly, the Monkey Falls log flume, complete with its sheer 19m drop, was Alex’s target. And where Alex (almost 6) went, his 3 year old sister was sure to follow. There was a slight moment of concern as we were at the front of the queue, as the attendant had to get her clipboard out to measure Scoop against the minimum height mark (107cm), but with a teensie hint of tippie toes and some ever so subtle stretching, she made it. My daughter is 107.1cm tall. I know adults who are only a ruler and a half taller than that. Scoop will be there by age 7.

What followed was a revelation to myself and my wife. Our kids, usually pretty backward in going forward and trying new things, couldn’t wait to have go after go after go on the log flume, Alex describing each time the “funny feeling” he got when we went down the big slope. We finished the day soaking wet, very tired and very happy. I managed to tick the Cobra:

a suspended looping coaster which catapults riders from a height of 32m along 779m of track at up to four times the force of gravity and speeds of close to 100km/h. Adding to the thrill of the ride is the suspension of riders beneath the track, feet flying free. This ride is not for the faint hearted.

off my bucket list, having driven past it many times, although not quite at that speed.

We had such a great family day today that I’m sticking this one in the elusive 6000 recommends category. Ratanga Junction isn’t cheap (adults R152, kids R75), nor will it compare favourably with that famous theme park you visited in America, but it still offers great value for money if you do it right. And that means picking your day carefully, arriving early, and – it seems – having kids above 3 years of age, and above 1.07m, but below 1.30m in height. This last one means that they’ll be able to enjoy just about all the rides on offer.

Queuing times were minimal. 10 minutes tops for the Cobra, Stargazer and Monkey Falls, walk straight on to the kids’ stuff. I can imagine that you could have a nightmare time when the queues are an hour for each ride, but that’s why you must choose your day carefully. Parents will want to take a couple of spare sets of clothes for the kids (and maybe for yourselves) as you know that once kids get wet, they may start to get cold and once they get cold, they start to lose interest. We didn’t quite hit that point, but then again, we did take some spare clothes.

Photos, such as they are, (the gravitational pull of the Cobra and the hydrological aspects of the Monkey Falls not being conducive to active photography) can be found here.