Is that really the best you could manage?

It being a public holiday in South Africa today, we had the choice of taking the kids to the Aquarium to attack some generic fish or to Bizzy Bodies to attack a jumping castle or three. Given the choice early on, Alex opted for fish molestation at the aquarium, but as soon as inflatable fun was mentioned, there was no turning back and we headed off to Westlake (which, as mentioned previously, lies to the west of a lake) (genius).

Bizzy Bodies is basically a big warehouse which has been carpeted and has a giant climbing frame, three giant inflatable jumping castles and a whole heap of various toys for kids to choose from and play with. Parents can sit and drink coffee, eat unhealthy food and watch their child’s energy resources becoming more and more scarce with happy smiles on everyone’s faces. It is – I think – perhaps the perfect symbiotic relationship between parents, children and the business owners, who presumably, are Mr & Mrs Body.

Obviously, the four large brick walls of a warehouse are pretty dour for kids, so they have decorated them with happy stick figures and a wonderfully airbrushed Mickey Mouse. Oh – and this, right above the infants section:

Seriously… WTF? [Bigger here (if you dare)]

I’m guessing – from the information which my mind was still able to process, having seen that monstrosity – that those are supposed to be Winnie the Pooh and friends. But, resisting the urge to unleash a plethora of swearwords, what [on earth] was the artist thinking about? Pooh Bear doesn’t look like Pooh Bear, Piglet’s head is deformed from the ursine grip in which he finds himself, Eeyore looks kind of resigned to being in a really crap mural, Tigger looks like a happy paedophile* and Roo… I just… don’t have… the words. I thought he was supposed to be a baby kangaroo. Not some sort of deviant monkey.

What on earth possessed them to hire a blind artist? And why didn’t they paint over it the moment she had left the building? She’s even signed her name and left her cell number at the bottom. I will have to follow up on that at a later date. I was too shocked to take it all in at the time. Too scared to go close.

I found K-pu, ignoring all the exciting toys surrounding her,  just staring – terrified – at the image on the wall. Staring. Inexorably staring.
I was very worried about her seeing anything Pooh Bear-related when we came home, but I need not have worried. The difference between those utter freaks in the mural and the friendly faces from the Hundred-Acre Wood was far too great a leap for her little mind to grasp.

Thank goodness. She may never have slept again. (Although I’m not sure if we would have noticed a difference).   

* which, given his surroundings, is perhaps unsurprising.

8 thoughts on “Is that really the best you could manage?

  1. Po > That honey is a great diet aid?

    Reflex > Sorry. I thought you were asking if it was just you or you and Eeyore that had rather phallic noses.
    Eeyore’s is definitiely rather phallic, but I’ve never seen your nose.

  2. Damn, was wondering why people had been calling me Dickhead for no other apparent reason.

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