I’m not doing a triathlon

Because why would I? I don’t like swimming or cycling and I only run to keep fit – there is no joy in mass participation events for me.

I’m wondering if this article was written with someone slightly more enthusiastic than me in mind:

After a successful party last night, and a good night’s sleep, I’m feeling a lot better. I’m going to give the beer and sleep method another go tonight and see if I can be completely mended by tomorrow.