Did you know that the world was due to end yesterday?
Being that the country of New Zealand is some few hours ahead of us here in SA, they’re already working their way into the early hours of tomorrow morning, and tomorrow being the 27th September, I think that we can call BS on the predictions of Alexander Retrov:
The next allignment [sic] between Elenin, Sun and Earth will be Sept 26th 2011. According to “Alexander Retrov”, the whole pacific rim will go. There will be mag 12 to 15 earthquakes. New Zealand, Japan, Indonesia, China, Korea, Russia, West coast of America, will disappear.
The East coast of Australia will be affected by tidal waves. A cosmic sonic shockwave will blow out our protective van Allen belts and magnetic fields and will leave the planet totally open to gamma radiation. We will be fried alive like vampires in the sunlight. There will be an electomagnetic pulse that destroys all electronics. Surface temperatures will be 60+ degrees Celsius. There will be 1000km/hr winds. There will be an eclipse that lasts for 3 days. There will be volcanic eruptions everywhere, pyroclastic blasts and acid rain from all the ash. There will be wildfires everywhere…
All of which gives us more than enough adequate reasons to head home early, although those 1000kph winds and 60+°C surface temperatures just sound like an average February day in Paarl.
I have yet to observe any pyroclastic blasts or cosmic sonic shockwaves, but rest assured, you’ll be the first to know if/when I do.
So… how’s your Monday been?
Oh, and while we’re on the subject, other things we’re still waiting for include:
- The Gulf of Mexico “methane bubble” to explode: “an event so potentially horrific that it equals in its fury the Indonesian tsunami that killed more than 600,000, or the destruction of Pompeii by Mt. Vesuvius”. (June 2010)
- The rescheduled Rapture, now just over 3 weeks away.
- Andile Lungisa to come and take your cheese while “closing every street in South Africa”. This is/was due “in September”.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…